Give me back my fantasy...

Another avenue

2009-02-22T15:59:00.002+08:00

i'm starting on my new blog at wordpress...finally...think i'll be stopping here gradually..

wordpress's good. i can determine which post i want it read and which post i dun. save myself from future trouble from irritating egoistic ppl to read and take it personally and "ridicule" me again.

allynawithnopretense@wordpress.com...

Friday Cell

2009-02-21T01:20:00.003+08:00

Today's cell group discussion has been very fruitful and refreshing. It is a timely reminder for me as to why i'm going to church or even serving in the children church ministry at all.

Its not that i've forgotten that serving and going to church is a crucial aspect of our christian walk with God. Its just that i've forgotten the sole purpose of serving... to serve and honour God...as well as to build up a legacy of what i can leave behind for the next generation.

For this fact alone, it helps reignite the passion i first had when i first joined children church. It also brought me back the memory of how i first came to know Christ and how i had loved God so much so that i would read the bible every single day so that i can find out all about Him.

I had always been in self-denial about being in a season of spiritual dryness. The growth is going on the negative. And i do know the source of why this is happening. Maybe its really time i give it a thorough reconsideration and not just per-say only. sighz. its a reality i must face.

Supper with my new cell members from the 19yr-old cell had been tremendously fun. As always..we had allowed the newbies quick assimilation into our group and i can see that all of them are very comfortable with us.

Not surprising. Since they're all on the talkative side as well. Haha.

I hope this coming Friday's plans with the twins and Russell works out. I haven gone rock-climbing since last year..june? and i'm definitely looking forward to doing it this Friday.

Rasmus!! Jia you for yer driving and riding test this thursday yeah? i'm sure the grace of God would be over u and both tests will be completed with great results...ganbette!!

And then come April, it'll be my turn to pass and then we can all go riding together!! So other than praying for my pass, also pray for my dad's consent to get a bike ok??

yup yup. i love my new cell grp and the new frens that came with it...yeah!!!

and one last thing (pardon my language though).....ridiculed unmercilessly? to the FUCK with u manz. nobody can be bothered the least bit.

Funny Statement

2009-02-20T00:06:00.005+08:00

Yay! i like this : "people who don't know me thinks i'm quiet. But people who knows me wished i was"

Reflection: i think many people do feel the same way about how their friends thought this of them. Its a funny statement though. All thanks to Esther who showed me this :)

i'm so glad i met up with u guys today. it helps take my mind off my 3rd attempt's failure. u guys have been great cheer-leaders!!!

I'm sure my fourth attempt on 2 April shld be the final one.....Esther, i can den ride u to school!!!!

2009-02-17T11:30:00.002+08:00

everything is ridiculously blowing out of proportions.

stop k? stop!

my blog had meant for me to have an avenue to rant. i hate it when i get ppl telling me i shouldnt be writing this, i shouldnt be writing that.

Arg...if i shouldnt be writing my real thoughts then why shld i even blog. its the essence of it isnt it?

i'm not publicizing to get attention. read only if u are genuinely concerned. stop reading if u are getting upset or offended. don't come in if u dont appreciate wat i'm writing.

this is a democratic country. u have yer own choice. nobody is forcing my posts down yer throat and ask u to say "u are right abt wat u are writing"

everybody has their own thinkings and ideas.

i do appreciate the girl who replied to my second latest post in her own blog. i'm sorry i pissed u off. i'm sorry i hurt yer boy. i'm sorry it hurt u too. sorry.

pls just leave me alone. i've said all i wanna say in yer blog comments.

sighz.. an old rant

2009-02-16T20:23:00.003+08:00

why why why?

it was only last October we were still talking. All went well during Ricky's birthday party didnt it? The supper after that was oso fun...that was only the third time we met up..but even so... just exchanging smses in between had been great. Why did u allow the misunderstanding to break up this frenship?

and the misunderstanding had been so silly!!

u were online just now...so y didnt u reply my email? sighz..its so funny how one moment i haf some other fren who thinks i'm pissed with him for ignoring me when i didnt even wanted to be bothered with dropping him one small sms.. while i'm here being genuinely exasperated with yer silence and sending u smses and emails over the months.

how could a guy be so petty. u arent like that i'm sure.

wat are the chances of u reading this? how else u want me to tell u that i'm not really interested to knw yer frens and asked u to ask them along simply cuz its kinda funny if its just us.

sighz.

2009-02-16T09:08:00.002+08:00

This is hilarious...

he thought my earlier post was written because i was upset with him for ignoring me and tt it was because i was more angry with myself than with him...

hahahahhah..read this "reply" from him:

hahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>> actually ..
>> just reading the post alone
>> i gather shes pissed with me
>> cause ive been ignoring her

<< obviously
<<>

>> nope
>> even when i see her
>> i make a point to look really uninterested :p

<< the only reason she’s ranting about you 2 months late
<< is because she’s pissed
<<>

>> precisely :p
>> sad right

<< and because she wants to instigate some kind of response from you
<<>
<<>

>> nah
>> im honestly tickled
>> like i wanna laugh ..

<<>

>> because she just personified irony in its pure form :D

<< for fucks sake
<< who does she think she is
<< its not like you don’t know that you’re an idiot anyway
<< she thinks she’s being glenda the good witch by telling you that you’re an idiot?
<<>

>> youre a funny pug

<< no i just think she’s a first class hypocrite
<< for someone who can be so damn adamant and godly in front of me
<< come along and make this kind of commtns
<<>

OMG THE TRUTH IS OUT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notice the bolded comments? those are the ones that got me laughing...

oh my gosh....hhahahahha

having not spoken for wat....more than 2 months....by reading my post he thinks i feel pissed that "OH MY GOD...HE IS ACTUALLY IGNORING ME!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING"

when someone tries to act smart and thinks he's that damn good at inferring wat others write, based on only 1 pathetic post...he's just...i dunno...making a fool of himself? esp after he said " and because she wants to instigate some kind of response from you which i hope you don’t give her because she’s a bitch honestly"

dun hope to give me any response fom him? Hm.....but why am i suddenly seeing the 2 comments he dropped to me..(although) anonymously???? and den oso 2 posts in his blog?

oh my gosh.. can someone help me to stop laughing? and if u thnk i had cared abt reading his blog, which is how i saw his 2 posts? NAH....it was only thru my fren who read it..and came to thank me for speaking up for him. and i thought he read my blog.

But he said..

"No..i was reading his blog and was pleasantly surprised to see how u stood up for me"

and i said " but i dun go into his blog leh..wats the blog add?? i go see!!"

and TA DA!! He READ my blog and got super pissed (Shhhhh....he's claiming he's not bothered by it at all) and i read all abt his opinions abt wat he thought of my post..

and he's laughing at my post like how i'm laughing at his... hahahahah...this is funny shit...when everyone who knew the REAL reason why my earlier post was written, had been laughing non-stop when they saw HIS "reply" post!!!

and he mentioned...

he ACTED uninterested when he saw me... Mm...lets see....i was playing basketball with chong deng and logan...and den a call came from him and sometime later...he appeared....and just sat there watching us play basketball..and den started talking to logan and giving him childish dares(as usual)...and lets see....did i run up to him like i saw the love of my life? my memory's not failing me...but i dun thnk i did.......did i even turned a glance at him when he arrived? ...i dun thnk i did..... so why is he saying tt he made it a point to look uninterested to see me.....did i even care he's there in the first place??? was he even FIRST thought of and asked to be invited over in the first place??!!!

i wasnt planning on having to give any sequel to my earlier post.....but wat he wrote just tickled me so much so tt i had to say it out. He commented that i shouldn't enter into his game. Who's in yer game? Nobody wants to have ANYTHING to do with u anymore dude.... i dun need any response from u in the first place...

Yer so good with yer words...i'm hardly at yer level...its tiring to thnk of how i shld write my reply to you (its not necessary but i had to get it out) so that u will not read and think that i'm angry that yer not talking to me anymore.

This is really funny shit....

but then again..i cant help but think back on wat i do miss about this frenship...

those dinner outings we had...

those outings had been really really fun....

the things he said and did was funny...

very enjoyable and entertaining times...

and how he brought me out for porridge when i was not feeling well....and thereafter, companied me the entire day...

the assuring remarks when i was having probs with a fren...

the list does go on..

u cant imagine how i had been going around telling me frens wat a genius u are for knowing all the places in spore u brought us to..which i nv knew existed...

u didnt know how much u impacted my life..then..

why had it all come to this? because of the stupid mistake i made? from his comments, hell yeah.

All these dissing of each other shouldnt be happening at all. like he said...we were aldy leaving each other alone and moving on with our life. The only reason for my earlier post was more like a rant after i found out abt wat he did to Peter. Ddint expect him to think that it was because of him ignoring me.. wat a joke...

i dun need a response from u....no..i dun want a response from u...

i'm not writing this to piss u off further or tickle u up further.

i'm just reflecting on wat had been happening and how it had been better times before these shit happened.

The only thing that u hurt me about had been how u asked me to go to yer church with u and the tone and attitude u gave me when i hopped into yer car. maybe u did it so tt u can haf the satisfaction of making me feel punk'd and i'm saying thats really hurting.

U can have the satisfaction.

2009-02-09T23:26:00.002+08:00

thank you Reina dear for reminding me that i've gone stagnant on my blog... but most importantly, i know that there's u who's concerned abt my life's updates and wat not... as uninteresting as my blog had been...u had cared enuf to come by :)

nothing much interesting abt my life as always...but oso not particularly uninteresting... the great uni frens i made...God had indeed provided well...not only all of them turned out to be christians...they are all a lot more faithful than i am... which makes it so much easier to stay on the right track even while in sch... ha!

i've started to like basketball alot..and managed to get past my personal barrier of not playing cuz i'll think to myself "i've got no basketball skills..and basketball is not fun at all...so y play?"..

but all thanks to my sis, Chong Deng and Logan, they helped to spark off my interest by teaching me some basic dribbling skills and many fun shooting games. and i proudly declare "i love basketball now!"

haha...but these 2 new frens made indeed brought abt alot of fun into my life as well...and i know that i can count on this frenship to last for the years to come...

apart from chong deng and logan, there's supposed to be jon lim in the grp as well...but he utterly disappoints me with his nonsensical immaturity and high level of inferiority complex... given his high IQ, his EQ is totally embarrassing... and even if logan or himself ever stumbled upon my blog and gets upset abt my comment, i'll still say it. Unless he learns to deal with people nicely, i'm not speaking to him anymore.

he just has to realize that the frens ard him had been treating him with sincerity. but as dumb as he can get with his low EQ, he thnks he feels better making cutting and hurting remarks and put them down. WTH. Go on, hurt the people ard u...Peter trusted u and u treated him like dirt... Yer the worst idiot i ever knew. U deserve having no more frens. I'm being harsh...but since nobody dares tell u this in the face, u know jolly well know i will. Since day 1 u know me. u KNOW i say things on my mind. U know that i'm not as predictable as u thnk i am. But one thing for sure u do not need to figure out...be nice to yer family and frens from the bottom of yer heart and not just me...everybody else will be nice and love u for who u are. Grow up Jon. Dun be stuck at the EQ of a 1month old!

alright...my blog is NOT dedicated to him. damn.

i need to get a bike--as in a bicycle... i wanna do night cycling...and i need it at my workplace since the common bike that we're sharing is giving me difficulty cuz of my height. sighz yes. i'm not really short, short. but i cant help it that most of my colleagues are taller than me and so they had to lower the seat just for my sake.

thanks guys...u guys are the most wonderful colleagues i ever had. (i'm referring to those at Forest Adventure where i'm working at now)

i sincerely apologize if my frens lost track of what i'm doing right now.

i'm doing a bachelor degree in Econs and Finance at RMIT (SIM campus, sadly) and working part time at Forest Adventure @ Bedok Reservoir.

Anybody interested to challenge yerself on this Unguided tree-top adventure course, feel free to visit the webbie @ www.forestadventure.com.sg

tats all dear Reina!!! i've updated my blog for u!! *muacks*

PS: can let me know yer blog add so tt i can save it in my favourites?

RMIT

2009-01-20T16:48:00.002+08:00

Ok...i've given up on wordpress..

initially i had loads of inspiration of wat to write...but i only had time to do it halfway...and the nxt time i tried returning to cont my entry...i FOGOT my blog add... DUH -_-"

using back my current blog is still the best... and i still love this blog name...nth else seem to make me feel more satisfied than this...

Sch's started...Assignments, tutorials, readings, memorizing....all the usual studying stuff...and i haven exactly moved my ass to do most of it..haha....

sch's all abt having fun right now....tutorial discussions after class becomes 30% schwork and 70% bullshitting... if some thnks i'm a lamer...meet my classmates...they're 120% lamer than me...they practically move ard in wheelchairs!!..ok..not funny...but their jokes are...Bbrrrrr....

this thurs we're going to Sentosa! i cant wait....my first outing with my new classmates!! thats the thing abt sch....we study hard tog...but we play even harder!!!!!

i'm so gonna bring all of them to Forest Adventure to play...i hope Est is not gonna get us all stuck up there for laughing too hard...

slack~er

2008-12-05T16:42:00.002+08:00

ah ha!!! the new guy is here to replace me... F.I.N.A.L.L.Y.....

But i still cant leave....cuz i gotta train him up...duh...

its funny how i'm blogging and him reading right beside me.... i'm crazy...but its true..

but its ok...cuz he's very zhi dong...he decided to pick up the book " Seafreight Forwarding" and leave me to blog in peace with no stress..

haha...

its fun knowing that i can spend my last days in Swire quite peacefully...but not quite... after i found out some shocking news...

1) M is real mean..now tt i'm leaving
2) my supposededly pay increment is not really an increment!!
3) my boss is gg to retrieve all our emails and read!! - - well not like i leaked out any company secrets..haa... -_-" ----> just lots of crap

Anyways...i'm intending to start a new blog....i've created an entry in Wordpress....but i'm still feeling my way ard and getting my inspiration to write smth...sensational....duh...not true..but yeah....trying to get back into the mood of writing..haha...

ok....blog updated....

2008-10-28T16:46:00.002+08:00

ok...although its a taboo to say "i've got nothing to do at work today!"....i still gotta say it...

sighz..the stupid system is down once again...it meant loads of free time now...but lots of things to rush tomorrow...

after Sunday's Great Eastern 5km run, ting says she's addicted to running now...so after my meeting today, i'll be rushing home so we can go running tog..haha...

but this long weekend had been fun-filled...

it is indeed much more motivating to join sports events tog with a grp of good pals as we can encourage each other on...and doing healthy activities helps to ensure tt all of us are taking good charge of our health...

after our run tt morning...al of us went home to Zzzzzzzz..... later tt evening we met up again to have a singing session at Chinatown's K-ster...

it was actually meant to be a birthday surprise for our dear Princess G..haha....since she love k-ing...it seem like the best option....plus...everybody's so tired out from the run....its good to just slack ard and working only our lungs for some silly singing...

we sang till 11pm and off i went to meet yang for some prate...well not for me...he's the one eating....i had a stomach upset...so while he ate...i updated him on my fun-filled day...hahahaha...

den nxt morning, liyi met up with us for some tanning at Sentosa!! We were all so totally excited unitl............................

the busloads of blangadeses......

ARGH>>>> BUSLOADS of them.... i'm not being racist...but they are downright perverted and disgusting!!

but i must say....its thanks to them..that we managed to escape the rain... haha...cuz being there for only 2 hours, we were so disgusted by them that we decided to pack up and leave.

by the time we reached the bus terminal, it looked like it was gonna rain.... phew....at least we still had our tan.... and my back is burning now....

since my sisters were there with me...i shall save myself the trouble of uplaoding the pictures... at least i did my part my contributing with the wordy elaboration while they contributed the photos..haha...

okok...i'm just being lazy...but yeah...go view ting's blog for the fantastically gorgeous photos!!

BIG DISAPPOINTMENT...

2008-10-10T20:17:00.002+08:00

but oh well... who to blame but myself!!!

if i'm in the mood to blame, i can come up with 10 GOOD reasons why i failed without blaming myself.... here goes..

1) helmet's too big for my head...so when i checked my blindspot, my helmet doesnt turn and so i keep getting penalize for not doing safety checks

2) the bike's friggin lousy...the clutch is so not sensitive enough

3) i'm the first half of 90 candidates...the testers are more alert and awake

4) the testers have bad eyesight...y didnt they spot my safety checks?????

5) the narrow plank is too long and narrow...i could have done better if it were shorter

6) the public road users are too impatient to let me change my lane the right way

7) the road shld be smoother so i won't lose balance so much

8) the bike shld be lower so tt i won't keep wobbling

9) they shld increase passing points to 20points..isnt tt a nicer figure?

10) the testers are simply too old for good judgement of safe riders.

Aw...there...10(bullshit) reasons why i failed...

RESIGNATION

2008-10-05T10:00:00.002+08:00

Its a good thing none of my colleagues knows my blog....or i thnk many of them are gonna strangle me if i were to declare "i am so gonna tender my resignation tmr"...and my "tmr" dates: 06/08/08....

is it a good idea? i dunno....but i am beginning to really hate the probs tt keep arising at work... i keep having to clear up messes...be it my own stupid doings or the someone who just left.... its just so....tiring...

and my vessels are just great to me....keeps berthing during weekends....which means most of the time its back to office on a sat AND sun just to ensure nothing cranks up...but something ALWAYS do....DUH...

09/10/08 marks the day i get my 2B?? i'm praying i do...cuz i just wants to move on to learning smth else.... i'm making good progress in my guitar lessons frm my sis.... i cant help but applaud myself for my clever-er-ness in learning new things...ha!

13/10/08 is the day i'll be down at NUH and finally..hopefully...reveal what my irritating skin condition is...keeping my fingers cross...

17/10/08 comes and there goes Martin to good ol' Australia...dunno when will i den ever get to see him again? hope he brings his lego speaker set over..haha...so it reminds him of us and make him miss us so.... aw....

23/10/08 in comes my pay... $$$...cool-ness!!

*PS: Meanie Ming(if u ever reads this)...i am sharing it with u....thats right...in yer dreams...HA!

2008-09-13T12:02:00.002+08:00

ok... the much rant abt wedding i was busily helping out with is finally over... and it had been alot of fun..

scored a lot of points with yang's mum's family and friends too...hahhahahahaha...he'll have his chance to score points too la..hahah..

Marco finally got someone in to replace my position when i'm gone this year end... and it was once again someoned referred by my couzzie's agency.... and he was so sure i might know the new girl since its referred by my couzzie.... i went "SO??!!" .. haha..i mean...there's like hundreds of people who send resume to my couzzie to get job offers.... and so whag if the new girl's my age and happen to stay in SengKang???

but the world is really small....just as i finished convincing him its impossible to be someone i knw......TA~DA!!! Germaine.....my CHIJ OLGC pri sch and ZHSS schmate.....COOL!

and when i asked her how she came to know abt my couzzie's agency, she said she only posted her resume on JobsDB and my couzzie contacted her to go for the interview...

so well...MArco's rite..i do knw her afterall...and its definitely good!!

its so easy to get along since we knew each other beforehand...for yrs....and being at the same age...and her having a little bit of Shipping knowledge, 2 days into her job, she can work semi-independently...just like me~ahem~when i was new...

so my OT's shld hopefully get lesser and my church committments hopefully resumes more... riite now i'm still handling 2 vessels single-handedly...but Germaine shall be the one to save me from all the fatique and stress...soon i hope...

cuz day 1 i explained to her my pathetic situation that gave me a (though)not-so-pathetic pay.... but i really needed to rest soon....

and so..thats more or less my work life update...

and as per my usual practice...i'll usually talk abt my bike development nxt..haha....

things are gg well and my bike friend ting ting finally cleared her prac 5 and can now go for road training...i'm so happy for her!! after 7 attempts at prac 5 and she finally cleared it....well God must've His reasons for answering her prayers only after 7 tries...heez....

alrighty...need to go run some errands...thats abt all for my boring life.... i wanna take up fencing and archery after i get my license..hopefully life perks up from there!!!

Reina dear...gimme the webbie so tt i can upload all the pictures i wanna show off in my blog..hahhahahahah....

updates!!

2008-08-24T09:35:00.002+08:00

haha...ok...its me being lazy again....

but honestly..can someone advice how do i go abt piecing all the different photos together and post it up here? i've always had alot of photos...but am just too lazy to upload it on... sighz...the wonders of laziness in me...

but but but.... come OCT 9.... my bike TP....i cant believe it...

i'm gonna have my own ride(soon?)!!!

i wun be lazy..i'll keep going for revision...i must pass first time....my many attempts at class 3 is such an embarrassment...RAWRS~~~

i cant wait for tml and sat to come....

FRI:

8am-10am: bike circuit revision

1pm-7pm: shopping and shopping and more shopping

8pm-10pm: cell grp meeting

11pm: meeting my baby

12am: my baby turning 21 and i've a surprise for him!!!!!

SAT:

8am-11am: back to office to clear my work

12pm-2pm: mini golf at Lilliputt

2pm-3pm: lunch

3pm-5pm: shopping

5pm-6pm: massage session at Kenko

6pm-7.30pm: dinner

8pm: cable car to sentosa

8.40: Song of the Sea

9.30: cable car back to harbourfront

10pm: supper

mm.....thats how i intend to spend my day with my darling for his 21st birthday.. i hope things will go as planned.....

......and i finally had my hair cut after such a long time....i'm once again with short hair....BAh...what does it matter...as long as i feel cool and comfy....i dun give a damn how short my hair gets...but of course i must look prettyyyy too.....hahahahahah...

i'm outta here.... need to learn how to style my hair a different way...hmmm...

vanish----poof

2008-08-12T22:31:00.002+08:00

my fantasy rite now is to vanish from the face of this cruel, selfish heartless world.

i had nv felt so negative abt my life and the people ard me to this point before... but i'm so damn hurt and upset!

work had always given me a great sense of satisfaction and achievement when i successfully

completed my task independently. and i reaped my well deserved results recently when my direct manager praised me time and time again...even asking me if they could work smth out with me when i leave for my studies nxt year... he had said that he's impressed with my working and learning attitude... and i value add to my company...

who wouldnt be pleased to hear that from yer superior? the very one whom interviewed me and chosen me over other candidates.... it prides me to know that i had shown him that he had made a right choice...

having slogged so much for the past 4months, my rate of progress had made all my bosses and colleagues pleased with me...of course not forgetting to mention, the many problems i had faced, without the grace of God, i would nv have gotten out of it all so quickly.

i had learnt fast not by my own strength and i had put in my best effort cuz i wanted to please God. Since i had chosen to take up the challenge of this job, i will finsh the race and finish it well and not giving up like how i used to do.

but i still am human....i will break under pressure...and i'm definitely feeling it now...handling vessel after vessel with no breaks for me....

when i first joined this company, by the first week, i'm independently handling a vessel all by myself.... so i couldnt understand why Dawn isnt able to do it having spent 1.5months here aldy.

it's extremely tiring for me to stay up late in the office all the way to 10-11pm just to finish up my work so that i'll be ready to tackle the new tasks for the nxt day...and no matter how i tried start my preparations early, handling 2 vessels at a time is no easy task. there would bound to be hiccups where my efforts would come to naught.

today i had a very bad scolding from my shipper from Shell Eastern. all because she had not

received her B/L after vessel sailed 2 weeks ago. and the most ridiculous thing? i'm not even the one responsible for B/L. my job is to arrange all the documentations and bookings before vessel arrives, and after it sailed, my job is to consolidate B/L drafts and pass on to the B/L dept for processing...den i tally my vessel for local and transshipment shipments and i send the necessary reports, and my liability for the vessel ends there. period.

and today i was accused by her that i'm an irresponsible and inefficient person. wat a joke. when she faxed the B/L draft on 1st August, 6.45pm, i was still in the office doing my work. when i saw the fax came in, i had immediately pass on the draft to my colleague Esah to process while i went on to arrange for the export permit to be done for her. and the time when i sent out my export permit email, it was 7.09pm. at the same time Esah had finish processing the draft and faxed it back to her.

note this. we used less than 30min to complete our tasks and revert back to her. now 12days later, she's on the other side of my phone line and screaming all the accusations at me for not doing anth and not replying to her emails.

imagine my bewilderment when i nxt received an email from her addressed to me with my boss and manager copied in. and mind you, the things she said in the email to me is nth nice nor true. i felt so terribly upset. i did my job fast. just because something went wrong and she didnt received her B/L and i had all the false accusations rained on me.

thank God my managers in the loop knew that it couldnt have been my fault nor Esah's. and they helped me did all the explanations, saving me from another possible tongue lashing from the sales manager from the TOL office.

things didnt end there. later that evening i made a call to another shipper informing her that her shipment wasnt supposed to be accepted on the current vessel as vessel was overbooked. and i got another scolding. this is once again not my fault. it had been Dawn's overlook and gave her the confirmation without seeking advice from trade. when i found out Dawn's mistake, i tried my best to rectify the problem without making it obvious that its her fault. and so i ahd to face another blame and scolding. and i had to write an email to explain to the shipper's client why it hadnt been accepted and yet confirmation was given.

what to do? i could only apologise and said that i had overlooked the booking situation of the vessel and thus made the booking for them and ultimately it got rejected by trade.

to top it all off, back home i was again accused by my sister of smth i did not(so totally not) do.

all the hurt in my heart is so huge. i just feel like i'm gonna burst if one more accusation is made on me.

all my life. i've done so much for my sisters. yet something goes wrong, fingers point to me first. Fine. i wun talk abt past things. i dun wanna bear grudges. to be honest. i nv bear grudges. i often forget things quickly.

but right now i just feel like vanishing. i really wanna give up. its so difficult to stay afloat when u have unhappy burdens pushing u down.

if i'm ask to picture how i feel abt my current state of mind and situation i can only say "i feel trapped"...i feel like i'm chained to the seabed while i tries frantically to help myself stay afloat. my current faith level is just like that of seeing a boat a metre away from me with the fisherman wanting to help me free from the chain but he had nth to help me with. he's like the help---so near yet so far.

i hate to tell myself i'm just an artificial christian. i dun want to seek God only when in times of trouble. but when trouble really comes knocking, i have no problem blaming God.

if i feel hurt about being accused, wouldnt it be a million times worse for Him, whom had paid such a heavy price for us?

how i wish i can tell God face to face that i'm so sorry for all the things that i've done.

"in your holiness, i find redemption song, in your majesty, i find where i belong"

i just hate myself. i hate my life. i hate this entry.

i want to love again.

B.O.R.E.D

2008-07-31T14:08:00.003+08:00

being at home with nth to do makes me appreciate my work so much more..

at least being in the office with tasks to complete, time pass really quick...

my last time check was 2pm... my current time check is 2.10pm... get the idea?

arg...

it sucks feeling sick... and it sucks feeling bored.... i was contemplating booking a circuit revision today... but i dun trust my stomach though...

just now i experienced a pain i nv had before... it was so excruciating tt i didnt even have the strength to call out to my sis... so i could only rest in my chair and will the pain away...

but as suddenly as the pain came... few minutes later, it subsided and everything seemed fine up to this point... i wonder whats wrong with me...

i shld listen to the doc and go for a scan.... if its some cancer, at least i detected it early....

mm....

but well...

anyway i was surfing through STOMP webbie and i came across the post that my darling showed me tt day...

wat a great idea to get ppl exercising without realizing it! haha... it was quite a novelty if Singapore really did it... we'll no longer be known as the FINE city.. we'll changed to be known as ERP(Every Route Pay..i/o Every Road Pay)..

but i believe i wun be laughing if we really had to do it... tourists would come visit...but only to admire how our govt make money out of shoppers...ha!

2008-07-30T21:05:00.000+08:00

haha... i dun realized how lazy i actually am till i read my previous blog and realized i STILL have not gotten down to doing wat i said io'll do...

whatever....

i'm now blogging in my office...

believe it or not...and if the time reflects at 9.06pm, dun be surprised... the office is like my second home...

i shld get back to work....

later~~

Lesson 6!

2008-07-20T09:55:00.003+08:00

Woo Hoo~ sweet...

i cleared my assessment first time!! hahahahha...now i'm on to lesson 6 part 1.. but that is if i can get my PDL done out real soon...

but yeah......yang just went on to lesson 6 part 2... heez...not that i wanna compete la...but i use it as a bench mark to learn and improve more quickly and get that license in my possession real soon...

i've so much photos stored in my phone now...

1) Lilian's birthday celebration

2) Pre-U frens get together at New Asia Bar

3) Chilli Noodle makan session with my girlfriends

hahahah....it was a blast of a time this week...

but not at work.. i'm glad i'm the kind that can play when its time to play...and work when its time to work.. can't blame me... i made 2 major mistakes at work in 1 week... with all the stress building up...how can i not set aside some time for eating, drinking and playing to release the stress build-up?

i still have alot of explanations to do:

- Pastor Susan, as i haven been going for Children Church

- Adrian, as i haven been making it down for cell

- Deb, for screwing up my new zealand booking

And i have to absolutely say thank you to:

- God, for all the problems at work settled in the most miraculous ways

- Kenny, for helping me with the explanation to my vessel's capt and teaching me alot of stuff

- Capt Fadil for accepting my cargo graciously

- My girlfriends for all the fun!

- My bike instructors for all the biking skills picked up

- My Darling, for putting up with my moods

- My family, for knowing when to leave me alone and when to offer a listening ear

the list can go on...

now let me do some explanation abt wat happened:

First mistake made:

i accepted some pipes onto the vessel, Tasman Mariner 140827, going to the New Zealand port Tauranga. However, it didnt occur to me that this vessel doesnt take breakbulk cargo to this destination and i had aldy sent out a letter of confirmation to the local shipper. Although the time btw my confirmation and her accepting my cfm wasnt long...but she worked fast. She immediately ordered for the barge to bring in the cargo just to meet the timing of our connecting vessel.. the nxt day when i tried to explain to her tt there is absolutely no way for us to take her cargo, she told me all arrangements had been made. We have to take it or she'll have wasted abt $20,000 on the barge.

i didnt know wat to do. in the end Marco discussed it with capt Fadil and the operations team and decided that it is minutely possible to take it onboard T.Mar but that means the space available for other breakbulk items are greatly reduced as the pipes are stored in a very awkward position.

so ok. problem solved.

den came another NZ booking to Masden Point. It's another breakbulk cargo. 120MT(120,000kg) of steel plates. Initially all was fine. Cargo was initially accepted onboard T.Mar to Auckland(Masden point and Auckland very close geographically). However, Capt adviced that there's no space to take the cargo and thus it had to be rolled to the nxt available vessel T.Independence 140828. And all still seem fine as T.Ind calls directly at Masden point and the consignee had no issue abt waiting for this vessel berthing on 02/08.

the prob came when i failed to re-send a cfm informing the local supplier that the cargo is not going onboard T.Mar(berthing 19/07). so the local supplier had aldy sent in the 120MT of steel plates into PPW(pasir panjang wharf).

now note this. when cargoes are left in the wharf for more than 72hrs(unless they are given 21days free detention), store rent would be charged by PSA. like i had said earlier, the nxt earliest vessel berthing in Sin is 02/08 -- 2 weeks(14 days!) away. imagine the amount of store rent to be paid for the cargo sitting there in the wharf because of my carelessness -- i calculated..would amt to abt $84K. All this would be on Swire's account--- and there goes my bonus.

But of course the bonus is not the main point. The point is, how are we to solve the prob?

Option 1) take the cargo onboard T.Mar as initally planned but had to drop some other shipper's cargo. And pay for the transshipment fee to move it from Auckland to Masden point.

Option 2) pay for the transportation for transporting the steel plates back to the supplier first and then transporting it back to the wharf again 2 weeks later

Option 3) pay for the store rent

Option 4) pray that T.Mar actually had space to take in the cargo.

Conclusion: Capt Fadil said that there was actually some space to take in the steel plates and so he's willing to load it on. And from the consignee's end, they had actually requested to go Auckland instead of Masden point the day before and we were not informed yet. So it turned out, everything settled nicely. Cargo going on T.Mar to Auckland. No extra payments or arrangements needed.

I'm so amazed by how things worked out. God's grace can never be fathomed by us. Never in a million years would i have foreseen that things would turn out this way. Tell me, who would've expected the vessel to have space at the last min? who would've expected the consignee to change destination at the last min? and of course, I'm thankful for the graciousness of Capt Fadil for taking in my cargo without making things difficult for me. ( from wat i learnt from Kenny abt another capt when he made a similar mistake)

so other minor stuff like finally settling my tally report which was way overdue and the trade manager was hounding me for it like crazy. i was trying to tally something that i didnt know wats wrong and at the same time meet all the deadlines for other tasks as my new colleague didnt know how to do any of it. that week had been so crazy and stressful that i almost broke down halfway. it also includes the many hrs of OT that had to be put in to catch up on work. OT till 11plus was smth i nv knew i had to do till that week....and prob many weeks to come...as long as my new colleague doesnt learn fast enuf.

ok. guess i shld stop procrastinating and get down to getting that email of apology and explanation out to my bosses and managers and capt.

tata~ God's grace is absolutely amazing through it all!

2008-07-12T14:05:00.002+08:00

uh... i'm so shack even as i'm updating ma blog with events of this past week...

after countless complaints abt Sam quitting...we finally had the new girl in to replace Sam. but wat an understatement to use the word 'replace'.

its hardly considered replacing! she's as INEXPERIENCED as i had been. but of course, she's a determined 19-yr-old... quick to learn and pick up what's taught to her. but time isnt allowing her to take things slow! but haiz...she's still learning how to do the basic bookings. looks like i'll be handling 2 vessels each time from now to God knows when.

but i do enjoy working with her. at least she has drive and initiative. a positive learner too.

i just hope she can pick up faster. being only 3 month old in the company for me, i'm getting indefinitely panicky as the day Sam is leaving draws near.

i'm really hating the countdown. arg....guess its do or die.

wed night i had my 3rd circuit revision. and with no exception, my revision went horribly wrong. it made me wonder why did i even reach this stage in the first place. but well the bright side of it, i had my fave instructor to guide me throughout. haha. talk abt privileged treatment. HA!

but yeah. can tell he enjoyed teaching me. but i must say...he and this other instructor can teach really well. i just feel so comfortable with their teaching style. but the blur sotong tot i changed specs. haha. he said there's smth different abt me tt night but he cant seem to figure out wat. den he asked issht i changed glasses. i told him no quizzically and i rode off. it was only later den i realized tt he didnt realize the difference was just me wearing glasses for lesson. as i nv wore glasses those past times when he taught me.

haha.

but yeah. i still haven had the chance to tell him thats the reason i looked different...and prettier according to him....hahahahah! i must tell yang. cuz yang said i looked better w/o my glasses.

after my lesson, i headed down to Zouk with Justina to meet Chuan and his friends. But it hadnt been much fun. cuz the stamp i received denied me entry to phuture. Bah....so irritating. and i felt so bad abt having the rest of them stuck in the Mambo side because of me.

so i made a wise and heroic decision. i decide to head home by myself. HA! heroic k? i didnt know where i was walking while making my way out of Zouk cuz all the smoke is drying out my contacts and i didnt wanna rub my eyes in case i smeared my mascara.

haha. but yeah. good thing i was there regular enuf for me to make my way out w/o looking too lost. haha. must keep up a good image. esp when i'm leaving just as the party started!

as hesitant as i felt abt leaving, it was a wise choice la. i still had work the nxt day. i was surprised i could even get out of my bed.

the rest of the week passed quickly. and today i did my 4th CR. seeing improvement today, i decided i should just book for my assessment nxt sat. so again, Wed night i shall hava my CR, sat morning is another 2hrs of CR followed by my circuit assessment.

phew. i hope all my practice will not go to waste and i can move on to lesson 6 soon!

its now time to get ready for Lilian's 21st...its been so long since i last saw her! i must take lots and lots of pictures!!!

2008-07-04T12:58:00.002+08:00

Work may be work.... as stress as everything had been... my colleagues nv seem to forget to have some crazy fun when time allowed... haha... i was so busy laughing at their antics tt i forgot to take photos of it all...

nevertheless, i finally had the chance to take photos of my desk and my office... but its mainly my side of the office... had the urge to take photo of my boss and his room...but he seem super busy so i had decided against it...

well...this was wen things hadnt been too intense... today i'm once again home from bouts of diarrhoea... the stress level is getting higher by the day.... now with 2 vessels calling in port, i had to go back to office even on sat because of my leave from work today...or monday might just gimme a heart attack...

i do enjoy my work...when i know wat i'm doing...

and i hate it wen i realized i made the same mistakes over and over again whenever a vessel berths....

Marco had been extremely patient with me....but i honestly dun want any mistakes to be repeated anymore... by nature i'm extremely careless with details....this job had helped me improve my organisational skills and made me much more systematic in multi-tasking... but i'm definitely still not good enuf..

my colleagues had been doing alot in helping to lighten my load... and i feel very bad abt it...so i must learn as much as i can so tt i can take back and do my duties while they can enjoy a lighter workload.... i do wonder why they dun wanna get more people into the dept?

sighz... ok... i guess i need to go check my mails and start working a little from home.

2008-06-26T00:04:00.002+08:00

my mentor. my bro. my guardian angel at work. is leaving. leaving Swire for good. i'm dead meat. really dead meat. i'm only with Swire for >3months. without the slightest inclination to what shipping is abt. i'm only beginnig to catch on a little and feeling a teeny weeny bit more stabilized. Sam had to drop the bomb.

Sam: Hey Ally. once yer free, i'll teach u how to send out NGPL booking forecasts and how to do the bookings to POM and Darwin.

Me: ok

Sam: soon, i'll also have to teach u Bankline. u've gotta handle this 2 trades with jennifer.

Me: me? u mean those tt u've been doing with her? then wat abt u? *looking real shock*

Sam: i might be leaving nxt month.

Me: LEAVING?? (of course it wasnt tt loud..cuz he had been whispering..so i know we cant be heard)

Sam: yes. the work is taking a toll on my health.

Me: Bbuut... *splutters* i'm only he-er for 2 months....how to handle 2 trades??

Sam: u can. i have 1 month to teach u and the new colleague.

Me: sighz. ok. i'm busy. we'll talk later.

And there i am. doing my bookings, doing out the booking situation reports...and thoughts running through my head. Trying frantically to make sense of everything tt he had said.

WTH??? i have no idea what the Bankline and NGPL is all abt?! and i dun even know if those are 2 different trades..or wat?? H-E-L-P!!!

Sam had always been the one to pick up my mess. Whenever my vessels dun tally....he does it for me. i declare wrong ports, he lias for me. I check vessel reports wrongly, he teaches me. Anth to do with my vessels, special arrangements, he reminds me. he's practically my life buoy @ work. wat am i to do without my bro???

nv knew wat to do if my vessels dun tally....cuz i dunno what the hell is going on!!!!

if i cant tally, i cant close vessel..i cant close vessel i cant send final tally report...i cant send final tally report, trade manager and new zealand people will be hounding me!!

i cant believe this. Come August, my nightmare will begin. I wanna be strong. But can i?...

and i just read Sion's blog. happened to come across his blog add a few days ago. tonight i decided to read some past post. i feel disturbed abt smth he wrote. regards to the taiwan trip. surely 'he' aint one of them. pls tell me 'he' didnt give in to temptation. i value trust alot too. i do. but my insecurities drives me crazy at times. i guess i just dun trust myself.

or maybe. i dunno who to trust anymore. with all the stress at work...the snatch theft incident...i dun wanna fall into another period of depression again. the suicidal inclinations really scares me. the insomnia bothers me. the lifelessness numbs me. the facade in the day tires me.

i'm still not getting over the incident in KL. since i'm back. stupid innocent incidents freaks me out. i tried telling Yang tt night. but i dun thnk he understood how terrified i am.

i'm terrified of being alone now. why. why did it happen to me? it may seem like no big deal. but it haunts me. replays through my mind like there's no stop button. i hate it!

i used to love daydreaming...but now...if i ever allow myself to daydream....the incident replays thru my mind involuntarily.

i want this part of my memory to go away. how long is it gonna take me?

Marco's rite. it bothers me cuz nobody wld expect such things to happen to them.

so why me.

2008-06-22T22:06:00.002+08:00

Dearest friends...

i'm sure by now many knew abt the fate of my phone...(and its not wise to divulge too much here)..

so just be sure to drop me an sms so tt i can have yer contact again!....pls rmb to put down yer name in yer msg... Arigato!

and yeah...i'm still stuck in lesson 3...looks lke i have no flair in riding :(

changing spree!!

2008-06-18T22:13:00.004+08:00

i simply love the fress i tried on! its $116 though...should i get it and pamper myself and reward myself for fitting into the size 8 dress?

heh... cant believe the shops are closing but we still managed to slip in and try out several sets of clothes!

if time allowed.... (and the staff stopped sounding like they're gonna catch us anytime for taking photos w/o buying) we would have taken loads more photos!

Liyi had chosen some fantastically great looking dresses...but too bad...time forbade me to tske photos and flaunt it :(

its enjoyable and satisfying....even more so if i can purchase it soon!!

2008-06-16T00:22:00.002+08:00

back from church camp...

feeling extremely refreshed, renewed and trasformed...

but i'm not too happy...

cuz of what happened wen we were out for supper...but cant tok abt it oso...argh...

and anyway i'm at lesson 3 for class 2B!

aiya...feeling disorientated now having finally finished checking 600+ emails from my work mailbox...

just missed 3 days of work and work is piling like crazy...i need my sanity back!

2008-06-07T00:35:00.007+08:00

"THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY"

its Fri..

my boss aka God-father...only known between my sista Ruby and i though..hahahha...

ok..i'm missing my point...

my boss, Mr Neo, decided its good to have a get-together party..simply cuz its Fri! after all the hard work after a whole week, they're going to have a TGIF party evry Fri if possible...

how cool can it get...party starts at 5 and by 6 its knock off time!

we have red wine, white wine, lots of beer...and food!

fan-ta-bulous!

some photos taken...when i get bolder...i'll take more *winkz*

class 2B -- lesson 2!!

2008-05-31T10:48:00.002+08:00

hahahah...

and how can i forget to give updates on my bike lessons?

finally...after 4 tries at lesson 1..of which, i'm actually getting quite sick of doing the same thing over and again.....im now finally promoted to lesson 2.....

happy as i am....but thinking abt yang aldy going onto lesson 5....haiz...i'm forever slower in whatever we did...heh...

but still....i'm gonna chiong wen he's in camp...upcoming tuesday i have a night class....if i can have my one time pass, i'll be booking for a thursday night class if they have.....

whatever it is...i must spend less than 1K for my 2B licence!!!

May....

2008-05-31T08:54:00.008+08:00

looks like this is gonna be a super looooonnnnnnnnggggg entry...hahaha...cuz it consist of so many entries in the past month of May...of which i didnt have time to upload the photos and update my entries....and cuz i couldnt rmb the dates of those events..i couldnt date the entries accordingly...

so....i jus have to do it the lazy way...hahahahah...put it all in one entry...

but if i didnt get the sequence wrong...the events are arranged from the most recent to the least recent....

here it goes:

oops...looks like i've forgotten to rotate my photos before uploading it! haha...tsk tsk tsk...its my bad and lazy habit...

but nevetheless...i thnk its pretty easy to view the photos still... and not that i wanna advertise for tis small crepe store located at suntec L1...opp the popular donut store...but pardon me cuz i actually forgot the nama of the donut...ha! cuz i only support dunkin donuts.. :)

but anyways...back to the crepe store....apparently, it originated from japan...and the fillings they had for the crepes are incredibly delicious...not to mention the Gelato....which makes it less fattening for those who wants to indulge in their ice-cream filling...

yummy...i'll go back for more....

price range for the crepe sets are slightly on the high side...but who cares...its the good food tt matters.....some indulging dun hurt... ha!

hhahaha...look! yang and i own a ferrari each!...hahaha....yalar...its from the arcade actually...but its so cool! haha...we would have taken more photo if there weren't so many passer-bys...hahahaha....

The national runway'08 had been a fresh experience after having missed tis once-a-yearly event for the past 2 years. we took on the shortest and most leisure route - 6km. And its definitely undermining our stamina. it took us only 26min to finish skating the 6km and we were surprised wen we reached the end point....if i had known its going to be so easy i should have tried convincing yang tt we shld go for the 15km one.

AND...i nearly got my chance to havE a free ride at the Go-Kart booth. but sadly...i didnt have toe covered shoes with me so i had to give it a miss...what a waste....i had used san's name to register for the event and had been lucky drawn out for the free ride...sighz....i have to wait till my church camp at KL to play then...

yes!! photos of yang's BX. so cool looking rite? his ATI POP was so awesome. it would have been best if the whole event were to be videoed down...makes me feel like signing on for SAF too...haha....who ask me to be such a sucker for uniformed stuff....haha....but uniforms really gives a sense of collectivism....the pride and honour....for someone as egoistic as me...its no wonder i love it!!

minimal photos were taken wen we went to Macritchie's Tree Top Walk..haha...not tt cuz its tiring...but cuz my parents were walking so fast...we have no time to stop and take photos!

jeff's auto-shuffling majong table..but sadly its spoilt..so there's no way to play majong on it...we end up playing blackjack instead......and i went home with winnings amounting to $9.....the same amount yang yang lost...hahaha...oops....

2008-05-20T13:34:00.002+08:00

in the blink of an eye, its alrdy halfway through the month of may and by now i had handled and closed 2 vessels. of which, many many problems and mistakes popped up, making me feel so irritated and useless....

in abt another 2 weeks, i would have been with the company for 3 months, yet, i still feel like a newbie to alot of the stuffs that i'm doing daily. but then again, things did get better...i just need to figure out how to solve the mistakes i made more efficiently, or rather, stop relying on my partner to help me pick up my mess.... sighz...

as much as i am enjoying my work, somehow, i do feel dreadful wen i need to go work....but when i'm there and start doing the work, i start enjoying it.... i'm just wondering how can i motivate myself before i go to work....esp on sundays....when i have to deal with being separated from my darling for the week while having to be at work... heh....

eventhough i might have seem like i've gotten used to having yang only book out on Fri, and booking back in on Sun, its still so difficult to bear with the upsetting feeling of not seeing him for a whole week and the only means of communication is via sms.

thnking abt the many more overseas training tt he might have really have me feeling thrilled yet upset at the same time. thrilled cuz he'll have many experiences to share with me, but upset cuz we'll be separated for weeks again.

but distance does make the heart fonder. so, i'll say tt its actually a good thing for him to be so busy with NS. ha!

2 weeks ago had been Chuan's bday....its so touching to see so many of his friends turned up despite it being Mother's Day. it made me feel a little regretful that my sisters and i didnt make our birthday party grander and more fun. afterall, we only turn 21 once.....but with out bday so early in the year, it felt like there's not much time for proper planning and organisation...plus, with christmas just over, we're alrdy rather broke...

still, Chuan's party had been enjoyable.... and i'm convinced tt he inherited his singing genes from his dad...hahah....and looks wise, he seem just like a chip off the block!!! no offense la...but really can see the exact resemblance of him and his dad.

after tt, there had been the long weekend cuz of vesak day....i got to spend the WHOLE of the public holiday with my darling and my family....i'm so so so happy...

i wished time wouldnt pass so fast.

now i'm back in my office. but at least for this one last week, i get to countdown to knock off time and i cna meet my baby darling.

nxt week onwards its back to my countdown for the whole week before i get to see my darling.

sobz sobz.

Visit to the port!

2008-05-06T16:02:00.003+08:00

A photo taken with our captain of the Bankline vessel. i love wat we ate for lunch. if everybody wasnt all prim and proper, i would have taken photos of my food!!!

some photos tt i wanted to update 3 weeks ago...

all these vessels belonged to our company.... wow....

2008-05-06T13:33:00.002+08:00

okay..... today had my first scolding from my manager...

i cant believe i'm such a klutz...

alrdy, for my previous vessel i forgot to include in my company's cargo and thus they end up having to miss out on 2 voyages....and the nxt vessel the cargo is going on, is the current vessel i'm handling.... but that, was no problem...cuz this time sam and i did double checks and everything was in order.

But just as i expected...i can nv heave a sign of relief...cuz each time i did it....another problem arose....

take yst as an example.... sam spotted a mistake in the POD for one of the shippers....so i had to call up PSA and get them to change in on portnet for us....but that wasnt a big issue...cuz the vessel wun be calling at the mistaken port anyway....its just for documentation purpose...

but sigh....didnt it occur to me that i should have checked through my other bookings to make sure all the port of destinations are correct? no...apparently it didnt....

and guess wat happened? today the vessel came into port.....only to have the yard call in and told me there's a discrepancy between the shipper's shipping order and my booking forecast.... after doing some frantic checks, my entry on the forecast is the wrong one....

wats worse....its a breakbulk cargo...which means everything would be pre-planned so that the cargo have a particular place to be stowed away on the vessel.... this mistake would caused last min disruptions to how it could be stowed on board.

when my manager saw the email i sent out with regards to the change in port, he came and questioned me abt it. i told him it was carelessness on my part and so i was scolded for not doing all my checks properly.

sighz. now i'm so upset. it was stressed upon me that cargo going to the wrong ports would cause losses to the company...so its important everything is as accurate as it should be. which is why everyday we keep doing tallying of all our bookings and confirmations and blah blah blah before we call it a day.

i want to go for my sushi buffet!! i hate the stress...but i love the satisfaction when i got it right.

when can i get it 100% right? i'm giving myself another month....but there's still so much to learn...argh.........

2008-04-19T23:09:00.002+08:00

i just read a friend's blog.

sighz. i'm rather glad tt i've gotten over the period of my darling's BMT. HA! cuz as i read abt how much he's 'suffering' away from his gf while he's at camp and always counting down to the weekends, i realized at least my darling and i had adpted to this kinda life.

though many times when i went with his parents to drive him back to camp, i'll have to fight back my tears. the tot of being away for the nxt 5 days of the week is really unbearable. but in a way its good. it resulted in us treasuring every moment we have with each other more...so much more.

i'm so relieved i've managed to "survive" the 3 weeks without. esp these last few days. he called me a few nights ago, telling me his prepaid card left only $1+ so he wun call anymore. but 2 mornings later, he called, but i missed his call cuz i was away from my desk in the office. when i saw the miss call, there's so much pain in my heart, knowing tt i had missed a chance to chat with him. eventhough i know its only for a min or two...but the tot of the missed chance really had me feeling so upset.

then i tot he'll probably not call again cuz he's flying back tt weekend. but today, he tried calling again! and somehow i didnt hear my phone ring eventhough its in my pocket. when i took out my phone and saw tt i missed his call just 2min ago, i felt super super upset. i cant believe i missed his call again!!

i missed him so much so tt i started praying silently....asking God to get yang to call me again. and abt 10 min later, he really did. this time i didnt miss his call cuz trusting God to answer my prayer, i had held the phone in my hand, no matter how inconvenient i found it.

so when my phone rang and reflecting "private number" i knew it had gotta be him. relieved tumbled over me as i hear his voice. although he told me he only has 40sec left of airtime i didnt care. as long as i got to tell him i miss him. but the 40sec ended all too soon.

although i did regret not having the chance to tell him i love him before we got cut off, i'm not complaining. Cuz God had shown me tremendous grace by giving us this short 40sec to let each other know we're ok.

this 40sec also helped ease the pain of missing his call few days ago.

i'm really thankful for this 40sec.

and my darling is reaching singapore today at 0200. i'm definitely keeping my phone by my side in case he calls!

i miss him so much. he's definitely getting lots of hugs and kisses from me....and not forgetting the egg bread i promised to make for him! :D

i love u my darling baby!

2008-04-18T23:22:00.002+08:00

i hate my ex workplace.

it sucks.

the open policies they "claimed" they encouraged.

the "welfare" they have, sucks.

everything abt them is disgusting.

DISGUSTINGLY LOUSY. This is how i feel abt the management of JG.

Ever since the day i confronted S abt how wrong she is, in the way she's treating a fellow colleague, i knew i cant stand being in the coy any longer.

Even when the people offered to "have a good talk" abt my unhappiness abt their management, they're just only trying to brainwash you abt why THEY ARE RIGHT.

What utter BULLSHIT.

The Z incident i had before i left was the last straw.

In between there's so many disgusting things that happened, that when my sis told me smth tt happened today, i'm not the least bit surprised. Just extremely disgusted that the management still didnt seem keen to change for the better. FUCKERS.

Their discernment for the good and bad teachers are lousy...well, most of the time...

if they're tt damn good, then my eldest sis wun be constantly warning ting abt so many things with regards to the coy....i've a strong feeling she experienced it herself, thats why she could give all these warnings. but just because she dun complain to my mum, she thnks my sis has no probs. its always like tt.

WHY?

we chose to confide every single thing in my mum. at the end of the day, she'll scold us abt our complains. why is it wrong to let her know abt our prob? why cant she view it as us yearning to be close to her, like friends do. why cant she appreciate the fact tt she dun need to be like other mums who need to pry info out of their children and we tell her anth with no reservations.

thnk abt it. does she understand my eldest sis as much as she did for us? she gotta admit. she dun. which is why she had to search for her blog to find out abt her stuff.

i know part of her scolding us when we complained abt our problems is cuz she loved us and so she's feeling the hurt we felt. but being asians, rather than conveying the concern she had for us through loving gestures (eg, a hug), she scolded us to mask the discomfort of displaying affectionate actions.

i understood it fully well how it felt. Like myself, the refusal to display such acts of affection for my family also includes my need to retain my pride. which in turn gives me discomfort. One recent incident to illustrate it was yst with chuisan.

we were in the bedroom watching tv.

San accidentally hurt her back against the bed post. Immediately, a small voice at the back of my head wanted to hug her and ask if she was ok and need me to help her in anyway. But my actions and actual speaking tone refused to cooperate and came out just the opposite.

i said in a harsh tone : " ok not?"

"ya" san said.

thats all.

then after a moment hesitation, i told myself, God wouldnt be pleased with me in treating my sis this way. so i forced myself to put down my pride and i told her : "actually ah, i really wanted to know if yer ok. why u so clumsy. so u ok not. does it hurt alot? need me to help u massage?" and in between i added things like "peifen is probably the one that'll give such immediate reaction. she's the only one who can do tt."

but then again, when i thnk abt it, actually i thnk all the other girls would react like her too...esther, liyi, charissa, amanda, lydia, geraldine....all our female friends would definitely showed her such concern....only me, her blood sister, dun do tt.

sighz.

what a failure i am.

for years i've tried to teach myself to lower my pride and shrink my ego. i've succeeded sometimes, but many times i still dun. why do i feel the need to hide my true concern for people close to me because of pride and ego?

i really love my family and my friends.

many times i just wanna give them all a big hug and tell them i love them and i appreciate them so so so much.

i'm working towards it.

so if one fine day i muster the courage to display an act of affection. dun be surprised or thnk i'm crazy. instead, pls encourage me and tell me yer proud of me.

we will nv know what will happen nxt.

i dun wanna regret only when the chance is gone.

2008-04-16T15:56:00.001+08:00

my sis is rite! my mum still reads my blog...and she keep complaining tt my mum dun read hers...so...to do her a favour, i'll put down her blog add here...

its www.mightyminime.blogspot.com----->mummy pls note it down. thank you:)

2008-04-11T16:30:00.003+08:00

i really dun understand those faggot cowards...

its not the first time i came across my friend's tagboard with someone undisclosed and scolding the blogger...

HELLO?? if u really wanna scold, den should have said out yer name wat. one moment yer saying the person's a fucking faggot...nxt moment yer being a double fucking faggot yerself...

so underhanded.... dare to scold dun dare to say name...

HA! such cowardice is even worse than any fucking faggots k?

i hope those fucking idiots can spend their time doing more meaningful things with their lives rather than let it rot away by going into people's blog and scold people for no fucking reason.....if they cant find meaningful stuff to do, then they might as well just drop dead and fuck off...

i'm scolding them and i am proclaming my name out loud... i'm Ng Chui Yee...go ahead and sue me or scold me i dun give a fucking damn....cuz this is my blog and i can say wat i want.

so there.

2008-04-11T10:48:00.002+08:00

somebody help me thnk of a way to grow my hair and not keep cutting it?

today i'm at home cuz of a bad stomach.. must've been cuz of the stress build-up over the past 4 days at work.... but i enjoyed learning everything so much....so didnt notice my underlying stress..not till my IBS starts working up... so i had to take MC from work...but guess wat? my mum said she dun believe me. hello?? doesn't she know after 21yrs tt i have this syndrome and it always happens my first few days of work?

i'm so disappointed when she actually said she dun believe i'm really sick at all.

arg..heck manz....even while i'm home i'm still logged in to my work mail to do my work.

she just dun know me. *peeved*

2008-04-09T22:57:00.002+08:00

aiyaya...

each time i see my blog's profile pic, i really miss tt hairstyle.... i really wanna quickly outgrow my current style and change it back! heh...

today's my third day at work. mm.. not too bad. though i made blunders and get so blur tt i konked up my own wrk and had to re-do everything..but at the end of each day, i'll still manage to learn one more new skill to apply to my job. not too bad. and my bookings dept colleagues are indeed really patient with me. i'm just thankful tt its only my third day there. although i felt tt i feel so familiar ard the office, but in actual fact i'm only there for 3 days!

heh. well...there's still very much more systems i'll need to learn....and i started picking up calls today to take shipment bookings. well...if its shipment bookings, its of course quite simple as i've been doing the bookings part for2 whole days....whatever vessel or ports or ETA ETD..as long as it's TOL(Tasman Orient Line)'s shipping route, i'm relatively ok..

blah blah blah...i'm finally not feeling foreign to the shipping line jargon...i feel so much relieved now....

but there's still alot more to go. my dept manager kept telling me its only the tip of the ice berg. as much as i'm feeling nervous, i knnow once i get the hang of it, i can be like a pro.

now another urgent thing is knowing my colleagues' extensions. cuz other than receiving calls for bookings, i'll oso receive calls of enquiries...since i'm still new, it means tt i'm not familiar with who from which dept shld i forward the call to. or some wld call to ask for this person or that..and i'll take a long time to forward the call...one guy actually hung up on me. sighz....

but my day always ends well....

today my darling finally called again...it slipped my mind tt he might be off for field camps so i was actually really anxious and upset tt he didnt call. but i'm really touched that the moment he had the chance, he called. heez. it pays to keep my phone in loud ringing mode. each time it rings, i'll know it...and if i see a private number calling, i know it'll most prob be him :)

i miss him so much. the 3 weeks is passing too slowly!

2008-04-06T22:16:00.002+08:00

okayzz.....

not tt i didnt miss my darling even though i stop posting in entries the past few days... i really do miss him still..haiz...every night i must look at the photo presentation he made in his hp before i can slp...plus....i cant help but still will cry each time i watch the presentation....the accompanying song he used remind me of him so much!! i miss u darling!!

anyways...

went k-boxing with chuan, jus, ting, joanna and shi min yst. but i dun have my camera phone with me!! so we only used chuan's real cybershot camera..haha...okok...if use tt to compare to my cybershot phone, my phone is not as real a camera la.... so no photos to upload... :x

i'm waiting for my darling to come back with my phone so tt i can upload the photos we took while we went onto singapore flyer! yes! we had the whole capsule to ourselves k!!

heez...

and i'm starting work at Swire Shipping tml :) i hope things wun be too challenging until i get the hang of it.... and i'm sure God will grant me favor with my new colleagues and managers! i know i can do it de....Azawaza fighting!!

i hope i can still find time to blog....i'm expected to do OTs.....whatever it is, applying wat i learnt in today's sermon, choosing to count my blessings no matter what happens...i WILL stick through situations however hard its gonna be :)

cheer me on!!

2008-04-02T23:25:00.002+08:00

uh oh...i haven written a post to my darling today wor!

haha...its cuz i went shpooing with my mummy today...but didnt buy anth wor

just like yst

i oso went shopping with my mummy and sisters and aunty...but again nv buy anth...

i cant believe it! a bunch of ladies going shopping but didnt buy anth at all!

haha...looks like none of us are shopaholics when tog...but individually, we'll spend like crazy! haha...

but i'm so happy...my final jgc pay came in le!! now with money in my bank, i feel better le..heh...

tml going for a job interview at Swire Shipping Agencies Pte Ltd

position applied for is customer service

i do hope i can get it.. but i do hope when i get it, i can handle the job...and of course i do hope the pay is good enough!

heh...i do miss my darling...but i'm oso glad my mummy has been asking me to go out...cant help but feel tt she's trying to accompany me...heez...

BUT..............

i haven get to run at all!! i feel so fat and unhealthy!! i must run tml!!!

ok..go slp le...wish me luck for tml's interview!!

2008-03-31T23:42:00.002+08:00

today is day 2 of my darling's stay in taiwan. sighz. still missed him very badly. but at least i'm coping well. heez.

but sighz. tot that i could take this chance to ask Daryl play tennis with me...only to hear tt he'll be away at Thailand for a short holiday. but its ok, haha..cuz meanwhile i'll look liyi up and go gyming with her. i'm determined for wenyang to come back seeing me visibly slimmer. ha!

that shld be good motivation for myself.

mm...looks like many people are falling sick recently. just now had a short sms chat with martin only to find out that he's ill too. but well, its a good time for him to take a rest then.

eryl had oso been down with fever. but i'm so glad she's recovered and so could be back in school on my last day there.

i'm so gonna miss my friends at JGC...and i'l miss my babies! sobz sobz...

and haiz..tot that i'll be getting another job really soon after i finish at JGC, but sadly, it didnt happen leh. how? actually am so tempted to just do my degree. but sighz. i'm a little worried it'll be too taxing on my dad:(

ok...gotta go catch the nxt episode on this HK serial i'm currently watching!

inconsiderate idiots

2008-03-30T11:19:00.002+08:00

hurmph...young singaporeans are selfish and inconsiderate k?

i mean those who are younger than me. yes...specifically talking abt the CHIJ punggol pri girls and the Holy Innocent High students.

every morning without fail, the buses that travel the routes to these schools, it would be brimming with these students. but the fucking irritating thing is, most of these double-decker buses have an overload of the students-----in the lower deck. the upper deck is totally empty. yet, it seem like its going to break their legs to walk tt small flight of steps. why am i so mean to say tt?

imagine this senario: the lower deck is filled to the brim with students, the upper deck is filled to the brim with emptiness, there are tons of people trying to board the bus. but because the lower deck is so full, yet nobody is moving up to the upper deck, and so only a few more can board the bus and the rest had to wait for the next bus.

i'm one if the fortunate few tt squeezed up the bus. but i cant move further than the coin machine. however, to my disgust, i realized that the lower deck isnt as filled as i tot it was! they were all near the exit door and nobody wants to move in. why? not cuz they can be the first to escape in times of emergency, but cuz in a few more stops, they'll be alighting.

but hello?! most of them will be alighting at the same stop, surely, even if its crowded, they'll eventually get to the door as most of them cleared out isnt it? they wun be left behind for goodness sake!!!

talk abt kiasuism. are they afraid to lose out at alighting first? or are they afraid that by alighting one second later, the assembly bell will ring before they could get to the school compound? or just so happened that everybody had an urgent need for the toilet so they had to be sure to alight asap? what fuck shit la. why are the younger generation getting so self-centered and inconsiderate?

in MRTs, we often see youngsters staying put in their seats even when there are obviously someone else needing the seat more than they do----play psp need to play it seating down?

worse..sometimes when seats are given up intended for some elderly folks, someone younger got to the seat faster. the elderly was the gracious one to say its ok and let the jerk take the seat.

these idiots. i hope their butts get poked by pranksters. and to those whose feet are glued to the area ard the exit door. i hope the nxt time they tried to alight, it'll be filled with inconsiderate people blocking their way and they cant alight. ha!

i'm mean. but i'm just so totally pissed off tt its not gonna bother me tt i'm being mean.

dedicated to my darling =)

2008-03-30T10:50:00.004+08:00

mm... alright..today is the first day of the 3 weeks that i'm gonna live without my darling...not even a call away... i wished i hadnt been so dependent on him. sighz!

for the past few weeks...although i felt thankful for the fact tt he gets to book out from wed onwards, but it felt like time just passed too fast. night seem to arrive so quickly and soon the next day comes. if the 3 weeks would have time passed so quickly i wun mind. but.....i feel like it isnt! today is still at day 1 and there's 20more days to go.

i cant believe i'm gonna spend most of my april alone:(

ok...maybe not exactly alone...cuz now i have alot more free time to make arrangements with friends to chill with, to go for evenmore regular gym sessions, maybe to start on my guitar/keyboard lessons, spend time with my mummy, etc...

keeping myself occupied would be one effective way to keep myself from missing my darling too much..

i do hope he'll come back with many goodies for me! hahahaha...

it'll be my last day working at JGC this mon....its again another time of attending job interviews. i hope i'll get to start work before my darling is back. working helps to pass time the fastest. except, i wun have the luxury to be able to msg or call him whenever i'm bored, or upset or stressed. nothing to look forward to at the end of the day. nothing to look forward to when i wake up in the morning.

i thnk i'll have a difficult time passing these 3 weeks. unless, of course, if my wonderful friends make lots of arrangements with me...maybe to the point i wish he wun return so soon? oops..hahah....let me be optimistic!

2008-03-24T12:36:00.003+08:00

haha. i'm using my new MacBook! but the irritating thing is, it automatically points out every single spelling mistake that i made..be it deliberate or unintentional. heh. so if i ever decides to use shortforms, i'll have all my words being underlined! and it looked really horrible. trust me.

but other than that, it had been rather easy to use. its amazing how i can press a wrong key and instead found out what function it holds..haha....and i just found out some today! its so fun to explore! haha....

but yeah!! finally i have my OWN laptop. now i can do whatever i want in peace. no more fighting over the com with my sisters.

maybe, to be nice, if my first paycheck is good enuf, i'll sponsor my sisters $200 each to get them to cont saving up to get a laptop of their own? haha... so nice of me rite? rite.........

i'm getting a little anxious though. i had really wanted to work at the shipping coy my couzzie-in-law is working at..but up till now they still had not call me up for interview. i tot they were desperate for new hires? i really wanna keep myself occupied while waiting to register for my degree. in this way, i can oso cont earning money.

haiz.

there's still so much stuff on my 'shopping and to-do list'

1)the cute mouse i saw in the apple store

2)the cool N95 8GB

3)a pampering facial treatment

4)relaxing mani- and pedi-cure session

5)screen protector for my MacBook ( its really not cheap manz)

6)BMW convertible ( i saw 2 at the Forum carpark. haven found out the model though:X )

7)join a good gym for a good workout

8)a sumptous seafood and japanese cuisine buffet ( do they have such combi?)

9)pampering hair treatment

10)lastly...to lose 10kg this year!!!

and....i'm gonna take more photos to put up..lest chuan will complain again..hahahah...

and..

sighz...i hope the 3 weeks will pass quickly.. darling can get to shop for 3 days in taiwan...if i knew where was he, i would go there shop too...or rather, i'll point out to him what i want him to get for me. hahahahaha.

meanwhile, i can start planning stuffs to do with my friends.... and my must-have gym sessions everyday to let my wish of losing 10kg this yr come true!

2008-03-01T09:38:00.003+08:00

haha...more pics of my precious darlings! however its only on my 2pm playclubbers cuz somehow, i happened to have my phone with me when i'm doing tt class.... but party week is coming!! so i will be taking tons and tons of pictures of my darlings from my nest classes and playclub classes!!From the afternoon nest class during snack time :)

Sprinkling glitter for their artwork during activity time in playclub...their all-time fave!!

Waterplay time....SpLaSh!

she's gave this smile when she saw my camera....my precious little playclub baby!!

and and and!! i just splurged on a Nautica watch tt cost $359 after a 20% discount. hahaha. but its really very nice. unfortunately, i haven had the chance to take a photo of it to show it off here...but i'll do it soon manz....i've been wanting to get one like this for so long...i'm just so glad i finally got it!! but guess wat? i walked passed Bvlgari and i saw a watch tt looked even better! hahah...oops....but dun thnk i'll get it la...heh....i've aldy had so many now...maybe nxt time...

and u must read abt wat happened last night when ting and i and yang went changi airport's Popeye's for dinner!

Apparently, ting, being famished, decided she could talk to me and at hte same time could keep a watchful ear for the popeye's staff's queries. one moment she was talking to me te nxt moment we were bursting out laughing...non-stop... the conversation wnet like this:

me: yeah....later we can blah blah blah

ting: that's right...blah blah blah

staff from the counter nxt to ours, addressing another customer: hi, chilli or ketchup for u?

ting(talking to me halfway, answered loudly): chilli ple...........

oops.....we both realized the guy wasnt talking to us...he was talking to his customer....thus the lady and the guy staff was looking at us in bewilderment....

being unable to help it...i started bursting out in uncontrollable laughter.....ting would have probably wished she could dig a hole to hide in there and then..... and the guy was so cheeky...as he went abt preparing the customer's order, he exclaimed loudly to the staff tt was serving us ----- Li! yer customers wants chilli ah!

we both knew he said tt purposely to tease us....but we were laughing too much and feeling too embarrassed to give any response but took our orders and quickly went back to our table...even the lady serving us couldnt ctrl herself and was laughing a little when she saw us laughing continuously... omg....such things just have to happen when ting is ard....wat a walking joker....the same one tt can walk into glass doors nearly twice within the span of a split sec if i hadnt pulled her away before the second time can happen...thats chuiting for u....manz....

2008-02-19T21:44:00.004+08:00

today i witnessed a chain car accident...the banging sound was so loud!! heh...but it had shown tt lancer's body is indeed too soft...the impact couldnt have been too hard...but the dent was really bad :(

tsk tsk tsk...

and yeah...my mum and dad knew abt my tattoo...i felt quite bad tt i made them so disappointed...and at that moment i knew i had made a very bad decision to get a tattoo...well...just let it be there to serve as a reminder for myself to be wiser at decision making...

work is fun...but tiring...but i love my babies...i'm gonna miss them so much when quit...

My precious JGC playclub darlings!!

My valentine day bouquet from yang yang :)

Are my nails pretty?

Issac nephew and i :)

CNY pics =)

2008-02-12T00:21:00.000+08:00

little Daryl....Jaryl's little couzzie...the most adorable baby i've seen so far!! He knows how to smile at the camera k??

My new Asics running shoes tt cost me $191.70...but its toatlly worth it!! the structured cushioning help me run my 8k effortlessly..hahaa...or maybe can say my stamina improved too la...hahahahahahha....

this is my current all-time favourite game on facebook..try it!! its rather addictive i must say =)

CNY little cupcakes brought by a JG parent....looks so cute i cant bear to eat it =P

My reunion dinner spread...looks awesome rite? everything cooked by my mummy dearest!!

me and chui wen....as the name suggests...we're couzzie!! *smilez*

we actually have alot more photos taken..just tt i thnk i look too fat to wanna post it up. =P

Its me and daryl again!! i love him to bits!!! *smilez*

2008-02-11T16:17:00.000+08:00

cny is almost halfway over..and although i try not to eat too much junk food when i do the visitations, i still feel like i've put on a tremendous amt of weight....ha!!

nvm...good thing i get to go gym for the rest of this week to get back in shape quickly...

thnking abt ting going for the ritz carlton buffet on 21st feb, i'm really craving for it......mm....my dear friends...who wants to go with me at the same time we can spy on ting and her ...ahem...date...and ahem....gossip!!! hahaha....or...maybe some nice good-looking friend of the opp sex, would like to gimme a treat there? LOLx...i'm so craving to go and eat the seafood again!!!...duh...martin...great friend ah....gave ting sucha good deal....bleag...

meanwhile....i still do not have the time to upload the photos i took over the weekend during cny....but it wasnt much...cuz wasnt in tt much of a mood to take pics....

sad....i'll be spending v'day alone la.....B-O-R-I-N-G....anybody planning anth? can ask me along??? i wanna go catch the movie "P.S I Love You".....and anybody has the novel for me to borrow for a read?

heh.....seem like this entry of mine has so many "hidden agenda"....favours favours and more favours....hahahaha...but i'm serious abt going ritz carlton for dinner and i'm definitely serious abt looking for plans on v'day AND i'm seriously serious abt watching the movie and borrowing the novel to read...

hahahah....

bleag

2008-02-04T11:01:00.000+08:00

haha...i'm back with my blogging...

but yeah...i haven been blogging much anywyas...alot of things happened but i just dun seem to have the time to log on to update it all up...

today's as usual a quiet day for me over here at evans...with a super aching mouth, i have no idea how did i pull through the class....and here comes my complains abt my second wisdom tooth!!

its really tough luck tt my tooth have to come out one by one...making me go thru the ordeal yr after yr....ok..so its only the second time i had it...but who cares! its hurting like mad all the same....or worse i must say....

during music, Shrey is not singing loudly enuf...so as her surpporting teacher, i must help to sing louder.....furthermore, the parents and babies are more familiar with me....but i cant do it today...and for the rest of the days as long as my tooth is not removed!

i can hardly talk properly now...the only reason i'm still talking is cuz i cant stand not being able to talk...

and i'm super hungry now...but the pain in the mouth just remove all the pleasure of wanting to chew....thnk i shall do away with lunch.... but sighz!!! i cant possibly not eat at all!! i still need to run my 8k run today!! yst's reunion dinner with my grandma and relatives had been oily to an impossible extent...though i said i cant eat well...but somehow when i see ppl eating i'll eat of course..ha!

and i'm a little regretting attaching the fake lashes...heh...cuz i need to put on my glasses in sch...and as u can guess, my lashes are too long for my own glasses good...heh,,,talk abt girl's vanity...we can do anth to make ourselves look better at the expense of compromising on my own comfort..hah!

but its still worth it...haha...cuz i can dun wear my glasses when i'm outta class...and everyone's commenting abt my beautiful eyes...hahahahahah.....

mm....ok...done with my vanity blabber....now i must rack my brains abt the upcoming easter outing!! arg...i didnt even know i'm the i/c for this event. and i haven called for a meeting still!!

my dear 2 i/c Liyi!! if yer still reading my blog...pls!!! help me manz..i suck at planning and organising...heh....

so pple...keep my team inn prayer!! :)

pray for good ideas for a place to hold the outing, pray for good weather, pray for cooperative liasing staff, pray for creative juices to plan an enjoyable programme...and pray tt more ppl will come up to volunteer to help us out..heez!!

2008-01-15T12:31:00.000+08:00

sighz....when can my hair grow long and quick enough ofr me to re-cut my hair into my previous style...haha....CNY is coming real soon and i still tt hairstyle is currently more suitable for me right now....

each time i wanna write ''time really flies'', i cant help but realized tt i thnk i would have written it at least once in every single post tt i blog..haha....looks like i really do thnk tt time is passing too fast than i had preferred.

why did i have the time to blog today? cuz i'm on a 2-day mc... but this time it was not just diarrhoea as i had tot..my constant trip to the toilet was caused by the viral infection which resulted from my flu....i was rather surprised tt this could happened....from the nose to the stomach...hmm...

sighz!!! all the good food i had eaten the past few weeks is definitely wasted la...hahahahha....i must post the pics of the seafood and dessert my darling and i was enjoying at ritz carlton for my birthday celebration with him, the yummlicious supper with my cell group at YCK and the sinfully sumptious dinner ting and i had with charissa at Newton circus....there was also the fish&co dinner ting and i had with liyi...but fish&co....not a big deal abt it....wat made the dinner really fun was the time we spent chatting and..ahem...gossiping..ha!

pardon me...there were not many photos for this ritz carlton one cuz i was too busy eating at the start to be taking any photos...by the time i remembered, it was darling who was asking me why i nv take pics of the food we had! hahahah...ooops....when it comes to good food, i'm just interested to get it in my stomach....nth else matters as much...bwhahahahahah....gotta wait for my second visit before i take more proper photos!!

this is some of the various prata we had at the prata shop at YCK...i totally cant seem to be able to keep the name of the shop in mind but i know exactly how to go there! ..haha...and they are all pratas mind u!we have here the chocolate ice-cream prata with mel as my model, the special prata, chocolate prata where geraldine is my model and the chicken floss prata...yummmmmmy...

and since we're on the topic of my 21st, let me just show off the cake yang and yong bought for me, as well as the humongous cake my church friends got for the 3 of us!

this is the sinfully delicious dinner with ting and charissa!

this jap set cost only 19.90 at a jap restaurant near marina square! again..my memory of the restaurant name fails me...and.... too bad my fave mango pudding is blocked. before i could take another photo, greedy me gulped down my mango pudding..haha!

ok....my medication is really making me so sleepy now...cant force out anymore energy...

ZzZzzzzzZzzzzz........

2007-12-30T22:33:00.000+08:00

This is an interesting article i came across in Yahoo!

Want to burn more fat and calories when you walk, swim, or run? Then take a break.

The rate at which your body burns fuel may be boosted even higher if you break up a long cardio session into two back-to-back 30-minute sessions with a 20-minute break in between. Breather, anyone? Start. Stop. Repeat.

How can scientists tell that a 20-minute rest helps rev up your fat burning? Men in a study who did just that (in between 30-minute sessions on a stationary bike) showed elevated blood levels of free fatty acids -- higher blood levels than those produced during a single 60-minute cycling session. And that bump in free fatty acids is a sign of increased fat burning: Circulating blood levels of free fatty acids go up when your body starts to break down fat.

More Ways to Burn FatHere are a few more ways to boost the fat- and calorie-burning powers of your power workouts:
Do cardio before strength training.

Here's why:

Maximize the calorie-burning benefits of your workout by tackling cardiovascular exercise before strength training.

Doing cardio first can help you exercise longer, and thus burn more calories, than you would if you were tired out by weight training first.

And finishing your workout with weights helps boost post-workout metabolism -- the rate at which your body burns calories after you're done.

The result may be an overall better calorie burn, according to a small study. Although all types of exercise -- cardiovascular, strength, and flexibility -- help you burn calories, cardio workouts result in the greatest calorie burn.

Because of this, it may be best to do your cardio exercises first while you are fresh. You're likely to spend more time on aerobic exercise and work out harder if you haven't tired yourself out by doing other kinds of exercises first.

On the other hand, strength training results in the greatest boost in post-exercise calorie burning. It boosts your metabolism for a longer period of time, helping your body burn more calories after your workout is done.

Ultimately, this means that doing your cardio workout first can help ensure that you achieve the maximum calorie burn from it, and ending your workout with a strength-training session helps ensure your post-exercise metabolism stays high.

Eat more of this:

Your exercise program is more likely to help you burn off the fat that you eat if you consume mostly unsaturated fats.

recent study revealed how exercising helps the body oxidize, or burn, fat consumed long after the workout. However, in the study, exercise appeared to help burn only the unsaturated fats consumed. It had no effect on the rate at which the body oxidized saturated fats eaten at a later meal.

Exercising can help your body burn the fat that you eat even hours after you have finished your workout. However, the kind of fat that you eat makes a difference. Exercise appears to help your body more efficiently burn unsaturated fats eaten at a later meal.

Unsaturated fats are fats that come almost exclusively from plants products, such as olive oil or canola oil. Saturated fats come almost exclusively from animal sources, such as lard and butter.

Build some muscle. The more muscle you have, the more readily your body burns calories.

RealAge Benefit:

A physical activity program that builds stamina, strength, and flexibility can make your RealAge as much as 8.1 years younger.

Try It:Exercise for 30, rest for 20, exercise for 30 -- SET -- GO!

2007-12-27T22:11:00.000+08:00

yst was at daniel's hse with ting, and shawn...we watched 'mean girls' and had an amazing time imitating the way they talked...kinda liked it!! haha...so pls pardon me if i suddenly talked to u the way they did...ahahahahhahaha...

and after tt we watched 'cars'...its a really good movie....on the whole...we really enjoyed ourselves spending the evening watching comedies..heh...

before tt we were actually at suntec's carrefour buying all kinds of liquor...getting ready to make all kinds of our fave drinks for our chalet on the 28th..i hope i dun get knocked out though...nope..i refused to get knocked out...i must drink the money's worth..haha...kiasuism....

and daniel actually bought a bottle of 'disco' version volkda from the airport when he flew back from california...i love the bottle casing!! so i'm asking daryl if he could get it for me when he comes back from australia....with the casing, i can transform our living room into a disco and have my own mambo night!!! hahahahhha...

ooh....just thinking of it is making me feeling so thrilled!!! hahahha.....i must show it to martin manz...he's definitely gonna laugh when he sees the casing... alright..let me put up some photos to prove my case :D

lovely isnt it??? i must get it!!!!

2007-12-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

woo hoo!! somebody finally installed the chinese software in my com so now i can read chinese on my com!! haha...i thnk its my dad who did it since my mum loved reading chinese articles on the net...

well well....its no big deal to some but to me, it is manz....cuz its rather irritating tt friends who uses chinese nick and i cant read it...hahaha...not tt i cared very much...just curious la...hahahaha....

well anyways, today had been a really fun christmas celebration at church. the number of prezzies we received were quite overwhealming---considering we receive prezzies in 3's...hahaha...

and huiming gave me a book mark....the stuff written on it is super meaningful...i just have to share it---

" Ever wonder why we have candy canes for christmas?

when you flip the candy cane around, it is shaped like a J which stands for Jesus Christ.

The red stripes stands for the pain that He has suffered for us.

The white stripes stands for the purity of Jesus, His whole life. "

Very quickly...christmas is here again. This day, marks the birth of the new King of the world. The reason that we lived. May this christmas bring about much joy and laughter to all of us. and amidst all the gifts exchange, may we continue to remember in our hearts that the greatest gift we've ever received had been the eternal life that Jesus gave to us as He suffered and died on the cross. By His blood, our sins are cleanse and by the stripes He bore, we are healed.

in this season of giving, may we give out lots of love and care to the people ard us....and let it continue the whole year round and round and round...

basically...just shower love to evrybody....just like how Jesus had showered His love for us :)

Have a Blessed Christmas my friends!!!!

2007-12-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

right now i'm at my fren's hse. so coincidentally, he was actually staying at exactly the same blk as martin! haha. i had always known that he stayed at the same condo as martin but i was really surprised that it had been the same blk. haha. seem like the world is really really small after all. sometimes i did wonder if he'll happen to be staying at the same blk and thus wen i bwas at martin's hse i would wonder wat are the chances i would bump into edmond. haha. but of course, all this are rather irrelevant. ha!

but well, having met up with some of my sjab frens after abt a year, brought back much happy memories. seeing how much everyone had grown up, some changed in the way they looked, some loved clubbign as much as i did, some seemingly staying the same as they had been.... regardless of it all...it had been extremely heartwarming to have met up with them again... those times we went through while we were in sec sch would be in heart and memories forever... those had been the good and wonderful times....it still is right now.... so much jokes and laughters...

it made me realized that maybe certain things hadnt changed much....the matters of the heart among some people...i dunno...maybe?

some emo music is playing right now...so i guess my entry is getting emo? or issit the chivas thats taking effect upon me? i've something in mind right now. i've some issues, which in my current mental state i wished i could comprehend and make up my mind abt. but i guess the lack of courage ultimately take precedence.

i hate thus feeling though. always wishing for something but knwing i might just not get it? life's always like that. i've gotta admit. i may know tt i've gotten wats the best but i still want more. the grass on the other side is ALWAYS greener. someone pls teach me not to be so greedy? sighz... when can i ever learn to be satisfied with wat i already possess?

when it comes to certain matters with regards to the heart...its really mind boggling...if only.....fantasies can turn out real one day...but when the fantasies are lived out, i'm sure i'll have more things i'm unsatisfied abt...

well cant blame me rite? all girls want to have their relationships like that of fairytales of some sort. though i may seem too old for fairytales...i still wished for it nevertheless.....reading too much romance stories? watching too much romance movies? i dunno....but i do wish my fairytale fantasies can come true...
O
O
O(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)
(fairytale fantasies )
( come true? )
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

2007-12-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

alright... now's the time to upload some way overdue pics that were supposed to be up like...1-2 weeks ago?

the 2nd cutest looking car i've seen on the road so far....too bad cant manage to put up the one thats super super cute...that will have to wait till i get a proper pic of it....and its in my fave colour!!----Orange!

a chilling out session with Elisa, Cheryl and Ting at Martini Firm...and before that, we had some yummy-licious dinner!! check out the photos......

my mood for today: *BIG SMILE*

2007-12-13T17:23:00.000+08:00

yst night at zouk turned out to be really enjoyable..

initially, wen it was just ting and myself, a weird guy approached us... we didnt really react the way he tot we would and so he walked off looking damn pissed... ha!

this incident made me just wanna go home.... cuz supposedly we were to meet up with daryl and maybe later into the night, martin.... but daryl went off to velvet underground first...

but out of totally desperation i smsed him to come and find us with his friends as it made me feel better if we were in a big group..

and he did came... so sweet of him... and yup, after tt, ting made friends with the guys who were sharing tables with us and so the rest of the night had us immersed in non-stop dancing...

had so much fun over at the mambo jumbo side where daryl did all sort of silly dance...haha...

but of course i didnt forget abt martin supposedly to join me... so i smsed him... only to find out tt it was full house and he cannot enter and so he was off.....sighz....or it would have been even more fun with him ard...who's another super mambo fanatic fan!

yeah..in the end ting and i was tired tt we decided to leave at 3...and the night ended for us all in the best of mood....

many thanks to daryl for being so sweet nad generous for treating ting and myself to a flaming....hahaha....all in all...whether there's treat or not...we all enjoyed ourselves....it was a good de-stress for everyone!

CiaO~

2007-12-11T23:15:00.001+08:00

all these are selectively taken from the pon & zi webbie : www.ponandzi.com

if u guys are interested, can always visit the webbie and admire the work of this talented artist!

2007-12-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

hols are here....but work is far from over...

there are tons and tons of resources to be completed before the new term starts....

i might be contemplating to quit JGC, but i'll definitely make sure i do a good job on my part so tt i dun leave the rest in the lurge...

why did i decide to quit eventhough i was perfectly happy working there...and these few days, i got even more acquainted with my colleagues from forum......but its really how the company is treating their staff that pissed me off and i cant stand to stay for another moment.... sighz...but i dun thnk its too convenient to put it up here anyways....

maybe i'll just give a narration of what happened today that spiralled a whole unfolding of 'truths' that had been utterly disgusted with the management...but in case i get sued for defamation, i cant reveal too much....

today, all the probational Assistant Teachers(AT) were to report to forum at 8.30am for a briefing by a HR personnel...its regarding the rules and regulations of being allowed to work from home.....however, even as i reached at 8.35, there wasnt a single soul to be seen.....but minutes later, some colleagues start streaming in....

we were just sitting ard, chit chatting...not knowing what to do...cuz the senior ATs were not here yet....so having no instructions to act upon, we decided to start on some resources tt we were supposed to complete at home(but cuz we cant bring all of it home yst, there were still some left at the school studio..which was supposed to be brought home today)....

in my opinion, that was good initiative on our part....rather than wasting time doing aimless stuff, we were making our time useful and productive...to this point anything wrong with that? be my judge....

then the 2 senior ATs arrived....at abt 9.10? 9.20?..i didnt noticed exactly...but i know they sure are late..i've no qualms abt tt...we're all used to it anyway....

and then one of them started screaming at my colleague to stop what we're doing cuz there's other things to be done in the studio. WTF?

"i tot we were here for a briefing?"...that was the tot that went thru my head...

apparently, nobody have any idea when the HR colleague is going to arrived, but she does have LOTS of instructions on what we can do while we're there...

ok...lets fast forward....some conversations were exchanged and i decided i need to speak up or i feel like i'm gonna burst with frustration...

"Zach....i need to say something....i need to say something!!"

with that, everybody gave me absolutely attention........

"i dun understand why is it wrong to do our resources in school now since u guys temporarily had nothing for us to do? u mean its wiser for us to slack ard than be productive?"

"no chuiyee, there's nothing wrong. but u know wat? welcome to the real world"

"u know wat? wat i'm trying to get across is, we guys were early, eventhough not on time...but wen we were here...u and shob wasnt here yet. although i dunno why u guys were late, but u guys were late. so since we all had NO idea what we can do, we are making ourselves useful by doing the resources. why shld we be scolded for it? ok...i wasnt scolded...but why shld elizabeth be scolded?"

"no...we didnt scold her"

"well...not exactly scolded...but she was told off.....i dun see why we shld be told off in anyway! we were making good use of time!"

and then Zach went on to give me a long list of explanation.....which got me frustrated and guilty.... cuz Zach had treated me really really really well while i was super new in Evans...and he taught me so much.....gave me so much leeways...shared so much with me.....i totally appreciated him with all my heart.....so its making me real guity for quarrelling with him now....but i just cant hold back my anger with the sense of injustice i felt for elizabeth...

and in the end, i burst out crying

"chuiyee! why are u crying?" Zach was really shocked

"its cuz i'm frustrated tt u dun get my message!!"

"i do! i know what u're trying to say but i'm telling u, u got it all wrong"

and so the 'conversation' went on......

but well...things settled soon after my burst of tears...i felt much better and appeased....and after lunch, shoba also gave us(particularly to me) her explantion...and well...i guess i cld accept it...and i love her as much as i loved Zach for all the things they did for me....

eventhough this episode ended quite happily-ever-after(with zach constantly talking to me just so tt he can make sure i'm really alright...which is super sweet of him) but alot of other things came tumbling out in my conversation with my fellow ATs....

ok....so it got me worked up again....but i didnt speak with zach or shob abt it cuz it doesnt concern them.....but yeah...it got me horribly irritated and disgusted with the politics tt i decided this place is not for me to stay....

whn i spoke to my mum and sisters abt it...they shared my view and we all just had to accept tt this is the ways of working life in a working environment....

since all places are going to this way, then i'd rather i move on to another company where i get much better paid...ha!

i'm gonna miss my friends though.....and!!! my BABIES!!!...oh dear....sighz..thats opportunity cost for me i guess....if i want more dough..then i need to sacrifice the part on job satisfaction......but my boss is too much of a meanie for me to stand it...bleag!

so there...my rants and reasons for deciding to leave the company..and trust me...i'm so gonna let them know exactly how i felt which made me come upon this decision!

2007-12-01T10:24:00.000+08:00

holiday programmes are finally over. everyday are so packed with activities from work and a little from church that i hardly had the time to do any updates on my blog.

for the first week of hol programme, i had updated briefly. come second week, where i had to assist in all the 3 nest classes, and with all the setting up, toys cleaning up and resources to do, i just cant seem to find time to use the office com at all.

days came and past. thoughts came to mind and without the opportunity to put it into words, it was soon forgotten. good thing i still had pictures to remind me of the good times i had during the past weeks. but currently..i'm seriously too lazy to put it up..hahha....

ciao~

2007-11-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

mm...i happened to be browzing thru a friend's friend's blog and came across this link....

really interesting and meaningful(i hope)

try it!

www.freerice.com

2007-11-20T13:53:00.000+08:00

so much had been happening recently...

it was party week for the past week...and my school is celebrating christmas....heh...and i love christmas SO much...its the one and only festive season that i really enjoyed...and i was asked to be the santa-rina...it was fun giving out prezzie to the babies but i thnk i make a rather boring santa..heh...

oh..i miss my tagboard!! i hadnt had the time to put a new one back up again..sobz...

but yeah...now tt hols is approaching, i'll soon have the time to do it.

was having lunch in the room by myself today..den Zita came in...i was telling her my parents would be out of town from 21-26..yeah!!! haha...den we became so excited discussing all abt the plans we could make....since now we do not have to worry even if we're home super late..hahahaha...ooh..i cant wait!!! haha...

and pay day's coming! hmm...not much things in mind tt i wanna spend on....maybe i'll just splurge on my seafood buffet tt i had been craving for so darn long! haha...alright...shall make plans with my buddies....

oh...sighz....not too looking forward to this sunday's children church. heh. cuz i made my pastor really angry with me. but...sighz....aunty susan's a nice person..haha...and it wasnt really a big problem....but still....i wun do it again manz.... heh...

and then there's my responsibility to write the script for the graduation event at church. i haven gotten down to writing it...not even the slightest idea how......sighz!!! i need inspiration fast!!!!!

alright. maybe i should take the time to think abt it now....

2007-11-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

....now i've found
the greatest love of all is mine
since you lay down your life
the greatest sacrifice...

this is one of my all-time favourite christian song. sadly though, i hardly listened to this song so i didnt know the words well enough to put it up in my blog. its really a very very meaningful song.

and its also a gentle reminder for me of the love God had for me and i for Him. many thots raced through my head as i sang the song in church this morning. i realized i was beginning to forget about the priorities for my life. its time i rearrange my priorities and set my path in the right direction.

the sense of guilt was rather overwhelming as i thot of how i had been so caught up with the ways of man, rather than that of God. going to church really does help to build up our walk with God. esp when my senior pastor is going to steer us all in the direction of building deeper knowledge about the word of God.

feeling refreshed by the sermon, i had a more anointing time during children church. although the whole time i had been extremely drowzy from my medicine, but i enjoyed CC thoroughly.

CC's AGM was fun as usual. it was quite a relief that there's gonna be only 5 special events for 2008. i'm a little worried however. for the fact, i was made i/c for one of the special event i had volunteered to contribute for the planning. sighz. i'm not exactly an organised or responsible person. unless i'm extremely enthu abt it....i'm not sure i can lead the team.

my sis was actually the one who was hoping to head one of the event. and i'm 100% sure she is 110% more capable than me to do the job. but sighz. i guess God knew tt all the more i needed the training more than my sis did and so i was appointed instead of her. oh well....i'll just make sure i learn the most out of the whole experience and gain much out of it. planning is a crucial part of our everyday life. so might as well get the hang of this skill!

i miss my darling. and i miss those friends who are still in camp. sighz. as liyi, ting and i were discussing abt the possibility of a beach vacation, the memories of me going to Tioman with my friends came rushing back. if only that can happened again. it would be difficult to get a big group of friends to go for such vacations again, since evryone had different commitments and busy schedules now.

sighz. i miss everyone so much.

cant write now. so tired. my medication kicking in........

2007-11-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

oh and i forgot to add.

martin and chuenhwee, i'm sorry to hear tt it had rained almost throughout yer whole field camp! heez.....maybe i only remembered to pray for their safety and forgot abt the good weather part. nvm. now i'll definitely rmb. especially when my darling yang yang has his fieldcamp coming up real soon.hahahhaha.

but yeah. after hearing abt another of martin's near-accident while he was driving, i am so glad he's now still well and alive. that boy. someone needs to remind him not to drive if he's tired!

oh pardon me. i shouldnt be calling him a boy anymore. since NS is when ''where the boys become men''..hhahahahahahah.....

2007-11-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

Oh.My.Goodness. Its november!!

i cant believe i'm once again writing in a post with the statement "its a brand new month once again!".... time is simply passing too fast...HeLP!!

life at JGC is still exciting as ever. the troublesome mum for the 11.30 playclub came in to class one fine day and asked for me...

when i heard her asking "who's chuiyee? where's she??"
what went thru my mind instantly was, "uh-oh. fuck. did i offend her or her daughter??"
in my calmest voice, i walk towards her and said "hello! i'm chuiyee. anything the matter?"(and with my signature big and innocent smile)
To my UTMOST RELIEF..she said to her daughter "oh look! here's chuiyee. baby, u were asking for her rite? come, give her a hug. mummy gotta be off...blah blah blah"

phew.

but anyways, now i feel a tad more stressed now. maybe this is the challenge God is putting me thru. a difficult child and a difficult parent. but i must shower them with lots of love and grace. i can do it........right? (pls say yes and pray really fervently for me! i'm still under probation for this job!!)

and then there was sat. only such terrible things can happen to me. i made a mistake of asking ting abt my reporting time for work. i dunno why she would tell me i can reach at 10 since the first class i'm assisting is at 10:45. 9am, Su called to ask why i wasnt at work yet and there's supposed to be a class for me to cover.

darn!!

i was really panicking manz. good thing i was almost done preparing and could get out of the house in the shortest possible time. and thank God there was Sankaree to cover the class for me. or i would be in the deepest shit and might probably had to kiss my job good-bye.

it was a good thing Su calmed down and forgave me. but i guessed i would feel damn awkward when i nxt see her again. sighz. stupidity just runs in the family(maybe just for ting and myself).

actually i had no idea why i gave the impression tt i'm blur? people who knew me well enuf knows tt i'm actually a pretty organised person with good leadership sense. in my 20 yrs, i've taken up leadership positions when the occassion calls for it and i did my job well. and knowing myself, i'm actually a fast learner. i nv allowed myself to drag others down because of my incompetencies. but cuz i'm just human, i know i need to give myself sufficient time to absorb all the new knowledge and skills that i pick up along the way. to help myself learn faster, i would ask questions to clarify my doubts.

i know i'm doing well at JGC. and colleagues had nv failed to affirm me of my assitance to them. but i cant help but wonder why am i still committing many senseless mistakes. though we all have a good laugh at ourselves at the end of the day, but i dun really like having people think ting and myself share only 1 brain. but yeah. its all a joke. as long as we can do our job well, teeny weeny idiotic mistakes wun ruin anything with regards to our reputation(esp wen almost every teacher loves announcing out tt we're a set of triplets).

then there was sat night's out with my usual frens. at the usual hangout at Mambo Billiards. i swear tt i'm so gonna get my personal pool cue and sell off my billiard cue since i seldom play billiard now.

and martin was just re-countering his field camp experiences. and using his cue's leather holder to act like his rifle. and it really did seem like one. haha.

but that night had been fun. realized i missed having him ard the past 2 weekends. he's like one of the few that can make everything tt we do seem fun and fulfilling. even the drive home. i cant help but told him " if it wasnt tt late, and if u hadnt been tt tired, i would have requested for u to drive slower so tt i can enjoy the songs in yer car"...ha!....i mean u cant blame me manz. we share the same love for music of the same genre and he always has many nice songs to share with me... and always end up having to burn many CDs for me...hahahahaha...but yeah...he's one hell of a great great friend....if he had been one of my babies at JGC, before i get off his car and said my bye, i would have hugged and kissed him non-stop like how i treat my baby Aiden Bumblebee!!!! hahahahaha....

oh no...now i miss my babies so much....cant wait for tuesday to come...

2007-10-31T14:30:00.000+08:00

having my lunch break now...

seeing that nobody is using the com, i decided to blog in a quick post.

class was great today. as my sis is on MC, i was asked to cover her class. it was good to see that the kids are aldy comfortable with me ard and are coming up to me with hugs and kisses. playtime had never been more fun and easier.

my Aiden bumblebee aka 'my new boyfriend'...actually gave me a super bright smile when he saw me as he entered the studio. ooh...it really made my day. and then there was my shy little samuel. still shy as ever but at least he's responding well when i talked to him.

and there's so many of them. in fact all.....really welcomed me. the 2 morning playclubs that i took had been one of the best ever. i would never want the class to end. but of course...sankaree, Zita and i were super worn out after all the jumping and singing... heh...but nv had such tiring job brought so much joy and laughter throughout and end.

this had got to be the best job ever.

its just too bad that their photos cant be put up. or i can show off all my darlings.

they're truely darlings. no matter those times when they can do things to make us angry or upset...they're always adorable and darlings of ours....

what wonderful days i had at work...

looking forward to my playnest class at 3pm!!

2007-10-30T22:29:00.002+08:00

just read his blog...

had so much mixed feelings...cant make out wat...just mixed...

but so glad to see him moved on...really??

but he seemed more depressed.

cant help feeling worried. but he's refusing my smses and calls. i know he did it on purpose. but why?..i do not know... we're supposed to be frens...he knew it...things may not work out btw us...but he knew i treated him as my bestest fren...

but i guess thats the prob. guys who're interested in u. they cant stand being 'just frens'. but thats how things had been for us.

i miss him though. we once had so much to talk abt. sighz.

but those were the days...they're gone....i doubt i'll have it back again...i've lost him..my friend............forever?

2007-10-30T22:29:00.001+08:00

having some fun taking photos of ting's shades...hahaha...to show tt now tt i slimmed down, i look better in this shades!! hahahahha....

2007-10-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

i'm back...after more than a week...

so much had happened...

cant believe my granny's in hospital..lying in bed and needed an oxygen mask to breathe... what was so unbelievable was how it was only less than a week ago, she was happily talking to me at my couzzie's weddding....now she can hardly talk properly...its really breaking my heart...

the first night we went to visit her, i was trying so hard not to cry when i saw her..but ting had to break down in front of me and i broke down too...

but praise the Lord!! my mum actually told us to pray for my granny and even told my granny not to worry as we will pray for her to recover.... and today, she seemed much better... according to my sisters...on sunday when they visited her, she could even crack lame jokes...heh...i really hope she'll recover quickly...

but i was so damn fucking pissed today when i visited my granny...

i had had a long day at work...instead of knocking off at 5.30, i had to cover a 4.30-6.30 class...and imagine, i started work at 8am! imagine how shack i am?? and immediately ting i and rushed down to the hospital so that we can visit my granny for a little while today...

but when we reached, my uncle asked how come we so late. i snapped and told him we were working. then he replied and said he had to work too. den i snapped and said we worked at evans and its not exactly tt convenient. he replied that he too wrked at a not-so-convenient place. so out of exasperation, i told him we taking public transport, he told us he did too...and still, he could reach earlier.....what the fuck?????

look....after a long and tiring day, i definitely cannot tolerate such nonsense...furthermore, i came down not out of obligation but out of love for my granny....i put in the effort to come, so i'll not tolerate stupid comments like his.

sometimes i wonder why people say the things they say. what went thru their minds when they made those comments? does scorning others make them feel better abt themselves? why must there be insecure people making themselves feel more secure by saying things to put others down? are these hurtful actions fueled by the sense of competiveness in them? how they dun wanna feel that they are at the bottom of the pile??

which reminds me...

just yst...i met my sec sch best friend's mum at a coffeeshop...she's working there...i said hi... she didnt rmb who was i so i told her i'm her daughter's frm and i used to go to her hse...

she asked if i still kept in contact with her daughter...i said yes...then this conversation followed:

Her: oh. so did u know she changed job?

Me: yup. she was asking me to join her.

Her: ooh. yeah. good that she changed her job. she's a MANAGER now. (note.the capitalized words showed her increased tone while she spoke) and what are u doing now?
(my thinking process: i've did a management studies dip. and i couldnt be more qualified than my fren to be a manager too. but i'm not one though. too bad)

Me: oh. i'm a teacher.

Her: teaching kids?

Me: yeah.

Her: oic. well i'm busy now. cant tok. do drop by my hse more often. but my daughter might be busy.

Me: ok. cya!

phew. if i were not a christian, i would have been totally pissed off. but i learnt the virtue of humility. do note. humility doesnt mean putting ourselves down when talking abt ourselves. many has that misconception. it simply means not to keep bragging abt ourselves. its fine to tell others abt our strength. just dun say it because we wanna brag. say it as an informative comment. sorry for the sidetrack.

well. yeah. because i learnt the virtue of humility, when she bragged abt my fren, i didnt impulsively add in that i could easily get a job with salary that's 1-2k more than her daughter. i didnt. cuz i know tt its nothing degrading abt being a teacher. and i'm a julia gabriel teacher anyway. heh. all i know is i love my job and i am experiencing high job satisfaction and a relatively good paying job. i doubt my fren is feeling as happy as me. bleag.

who wun want a good paying job? i would oso wanna complete my econs and finance degree and go into morgan stanley to wrk as a trader. starting pay? 7.5k...thats how good paying it is.

heh...

and i'm so happy!! thanks to chuan, i finally got to buy the Polo Ralph Lauren shirt tt i had been wanting to get!! hee...nxt up on my list, a new LV wallet.... heez!!

2007-10-22T13:40:00.001+08:00

we were inside Kandi Bar...couldnt get the couch we were sitting on in the picture..hahah..it is actually made up of many soft crocodiles....

at my couzzie's wedding...didnt take much photos cuz i was too busy talking to my other couzzies..hehehe...

shawn's birthday celebration :)

2007-10-22T13:40:00.000+08:00

yawnz...woke up not long ago..hahaha....today had been the lastest sleep-in...must be the cough med i took yst night...

mm....

yeah..some updates...attended my couzzie's wedding dinner on sat night @Fort Canning's The Legends....the dinner wad alright only....maybe recently had been to too many wedding dinners and all the dishes are (i might say) 90% the same type of dishes...so not much to comment abt....

after the dinner met up with yang, hwee and martin first...they came to fetch us..heh..its a good thing too...i was in a new pair of heels and really nicely dressed up..heez...i must say, i know i looked really pretty!! HAHAHAHAH....but the heels are killing me...take a look at the horrendous number of blisters on my feet and u would applaud me for my tolerance for pain tt night...till today, i'm still wondering how i could make myself walk in those heels with those blisters all over...heh....talk abt ladies' vaniety over our lives(do the chinese translation yerself)

however, martin did not join us for supper, instead chuan joined us...i've no qualms though...cuz i love talking to chuan! he's one guy tt can really crap and make it sound ridiculously entertaining tt u wun mind him doing all the talking...hahahhaha....but oops...not tt martin's not entertaining...just not as much as i enjoyed chuan's company manz...hahahhahahhahaah...

sunday came and its church activities again....children church had been great cuz there wasnt much for me to do...hahahahhaa....but it feels good to be back in church after a hectic week and just spend my morning bringing my focus back unto God....

there...a week came and went...

its now time for week 7 activites at JGC...

time really flies when i'm working there...i cant wait to see my babies again...once my cough fully recovers, i'm gonna give them all a proper loving kiss!! haaahahah....esp to my baby boyfriend Leon!! hahahah....will nv forget that loving hug he gave me on my first day at JGC....his silly little baby hug convince me tt my time spent at JGC would definitely be a satisfying one.....cant wait to see him give me his 2-tooth grin tml morning!!!

2007-10-14T23:20:00.002+08:00

2007-10-14T23:20:00.001+08:00

2007-10-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

ooh...so much to blog abt..but too lazy to elaborate..hahahha

lets see....had some pink and purple hair extensions...took some pics...den took it off after having it on for half a week??..hahhaa...can't stand it entangling in my hair while i bath...

good time with the babies and toddlers...still had so much more to learn at JGC..but i'm catching on!! heez...with great colleagues to work with...who wouldnt love their jobs??

darling is back into camp...so is the rest of my buddies...but not too bad...caught a movie with martin, hwee, yang and eugene...the movie was simply hilarious!! *chuck and larry*

went grapevine the other day and got to know a new friend~ mark...fabulous guy...works at morgan stanley...i wanna go there too!! hahaha...den my dream of owning a rex sTi wld be real close!!...haha...bleag..

den few nights later, went The Arena with ting and sankeree...had a great time...live hip hop performance...too bad..didnt stay long enuf to hear my dedications.... but all of us suffered real bad hangover the nxt day at work...and the teacher taking over Zita? Raihan!! gosh...the HOD of EduPlay dept...we had to wake ourselves up no matter wat...but she's a lovely lady...love the way she interacts with us and the class...such a nice character...so glad i'm under such a nice boss *smilez*

then ting and i swore not to touch any alcoholic drinks anytime soon..but guess wat?? the following night, went Kandi Bar to chill with Zita...hahahha...each of us down a jug of volkda lime.. at first we took it real slow...but since everyone's tired, we decided to just gulp down the half jug left in each of our respective jugs...took some pictures...the alcohol effect kicked in....went to queue up for a cab and by 1.30am, we're sound aslp..hahahah....

that was one of the fastest chilling out session...but haiz...missed mambo night....while i was at The Arena, msged martin and told him how i missed clubbing with him..hahhahaha...den purposely told him how much fun i'm having while he's stuck in tekong....but really miss those times before his enlistment....it had been so much fun....we click so well tt i find it most fun with him ard....sighz.....this cheeky monkey, went to pull my hair extension!! only to feel sheepish abt it when i told him it hurts......what a dummy...who put hair extensions without having it attached to their hair?? of course it hurts! bleag..

hahah...but i knew i got him craving for mambo night..cuz when we met up, he asked me if i went mambo tt night...hahahhahaha....he really sounded so---hmm...how do i put it---ok...to me he sounded a little like he wished he could go amnz...hahahaha...

and den today watched Final Call with my darling....huddling together the whole time..the show's damn scary....den after his dad sent me home, met up with ting and mark and went down lower seletar to chill for awhile before heading home....

quite an eventful week i must say.....but i certainly enjoying it!! cant wait for my swimming session with ting and liyi tml!!

2007-10-08T18:50:00.000+08:00

i'm bacccccccccccccck!!!!!!!

heez...been away from my com..and therefore, my blog for so long...its a real delight to see the flood of tags from my darling friends!! heez...some of whom i get to see on sundays while some i still haven get the chance and time to meet...but i'm sure the chance will be soon *BIG SMILE*

much of my week had been spent at JGC..covering classes back to back...BUT i'm loving it! heez...tiring as it may be, but the fun makes it all up...and then there's the relaxing time i had at Hilton gym!! wow, after a 40min run, ending it off with sauna and/or steam bath is a bliss....not to mention the weightloss..hahahahha....

one of the few highlights....a time of dinner and pubbing with shawn, huiling, fay, cath and my sis at Martini Firm was refreshing...since i prob wun get to see fay while he flies off for his steward training in the upcoming 2 months!! i'll miss him manz...he's the only one that will keep calling me a boy but treats me like a princess!! hahaha...but he'll deny it if he sees this..bleag :P

and then there's the pubbing session with zita and her husband, mark, leo(i thnk that's his name..but i'm super sure i got his gf's name correct) and cynthia, and my sis(as usual)..hahahahah.... it was at Grapevine...nice place and nice ambience...and hanging out with such great people, it made that night a wonderfully entertaining one :D

yeap...looks like i got most of the interesting things highlighted out......

oh ya!! this morning...spent 2 hours waiting at TTSH for ting's appointment...its one thing i nv understood.... singapore is supposed to have reached an efficient level when it comes to customer service...but when it comes to hospitals and clinics, it doesnt seem to be that way...the doctor consultation time is super fast but the time waiting for our turn to pay or collect the medication is horrendously long....i overheard a man behind complaining on his phone that he had been waiting for 2 hours...and he had even made sure he came 1 hour before his appt time! wow....no wonder he was in such lousy mood... i'm fine with the waiting as i get to spend the time playing and taking care of my tamaboy...hahahahah....

at the end of the whole appt, ting and i rewarded ourselves to sushi buffet at suki sushi...heez....yummy.... up next...my seafood buffet!! i'm so gonna pester my darling yang yang to bring me soon..it'll be my treat anyways :)

alrighty..gotta bath...so looking forward to my gym session at hilton tml!! i need to run off all those fats i accumulated from the sushi buffet!! heez...

P.S: and my dear frens, my working days are tues to sat for this school term. so feel free to ask me out even on my working days....i always believed in working hard and playing hard..and u shld know i dun like compromising on my play time...so must ask me out k??? ChEeRZ!!

2007-10-03T16:59:00.001+08:00

haha...well well well...i'm not sure if i can be a good mum when i've a child of my own...

i cant even take care of my tamagotchi!! haha... i found it 'certified' yst night when i suddenly rmb abt it and took it out of my bag...hahaha....well..erm..actually i'm not tt happy abt it...i actually got till generation 2 aldy..now i have to start all over again!! signz....

it all happened cuz i was busy ironing clothes the whole afternoon, working out at the gym in the evening then watching my hongkong serials at night while messaging my darling..haha... so my tamababy slipped my mind totally...........till i was gonna slp....geez...

today i went to sign the JGC contract...and am starting work tml!!!! FINALLY.

i'm so glad to be able to put a full-stop to all the restless waiting. money is rolling in *big smile*. i will be busy and not slacking *bigger smile*. and i'll be playing with babies whole day long *Biggest smile* !

now i wanna go tamatown and earn more food and points for my 'newborn' tamababy..hope i can be a better mama now..hahahahha...

2007-10-02T11:34:00.001+08:00

YaY!!

JGC confirmed my pay....and i'm rather satisfied with it *smilez*

the happy thing now is i can finally start working!! heh. stuck at home with nth else to do but sweep the floor and iron the clothes is what i swear i would not make myself do again when i have my own home. hahaha. and when all 3 of us are much financially stable, we've agreed to get a part time domestic help to do all the hsework!! ahahaha...we're not lazy kay? we just want everybody to have more free time to enjoy life...and that includes my mum.

i can foresee that once she change the location of her shop, she'll be so busy with all the sales.. hahaha.. i'm confident my mum has all the business instincts tt i had!! like daughter like mother ma...hahahah....yea yea..i know it should be the other way round...but i insist that i believe tt it is MY good business sense that had rubbed off on my mum...hahahahaha.....

and i've aldy planned out my personal 'financial budget' for the upcoming 2 months..i hope i can follow my budget closely..hahahha...not very likely...but i will try.... meanwhile, i'm still waiting for my chance to eat the Ritz Carlton seafood buffet!!!!!!~ bleag..stupid martin, say alrdy is eat with yang and i..in the end went with his own frens...hahah...nvm...yang and i will go ourselves..hahahah...anybody else interested?? hahaahahaha.....

2007-10-01T11:31:00.001+08:00

its a new month once again!! its times like this that made me feel like time really passes so quickly....but today is a super bad mood morning...because of some unreasonable people..bleag...

what a super demoralizing way to start my day and the start of october....not tt its some special month...it just marks the beginning of a new month...meaning, we're yet another month closer to christmas!! yea....when christmas comes, martin and hwee would have ended their BMT and yang and chuan would have finish their SISPEC course..there'll be slightly more time to spend with each other!!

haha...but haiz...which means might start seeing less of martin after that since its the start of his airforce training...i'm not sure how it'll go...but sighz...

the only happy thing now is..i'll be going swimming with ting and liyi...i hope i'll get a great workout!!

2007-09-30T19:02:00.000+08:00

woots~~~~

had so eagerly been waiting and counting down the days to yang's, martin's, hwee's and chuan's book out so tt we can meet up and chill......but sighz...time flew by like nobody's business and now they're all booking back in le!! SOBZ...

at least yst night managed to meet up with martin(the birthday boy..damn lucky la...booked out 1 day before his birthday..so can actually celebrate for him on his actual day *smilez*), yang and hwee...we went Del Mar..haha...finally martin got the chance to be there..hahaha....together mwith my sisters, we all had a great time chatting and earing all their experiences....sighz... but the end to tt night hadnt been tt great for me..heh...BUT...i've forgiven whoever tt upsetted me..hahahaha...he promised to make it up to me during his nxt book out...he had better....haha...

so now is just left with not having the chance to meet up with Mr-SUPER-FIT Siu Chuan..hahahahah...chuan dun needa be pai seh hor..hahahhahaha....and must ask jus together manz...simply love talking to her!!!!!

wow....just blogging abt my good frens made me so happy le..heez...but sad too cuz cant see them till the nxt weekend....and there's Guo Hua...posted to OCS...confinement 3 weeks..haiz....must remind him abt our 'date' with benjy and probably other SJ peeps at MINDS cafe!! haha...he's another super fit guy manz....trained himsself up since poly yr 1!!

and poor benjy...no matter how much check-ups done, in the end still kena PES B...nth lower than tt..heh...hope he'lll pull through his BMT when he enlist this Dec!!

this week was great. had quite a number of church events. fri was cell grp meeting and tt had been extremely fruitful....sat was our church's 10th anniversary of CP in Hougang and i was involved in the children church's CP event as a main cast of the drama...with my best partner Huiming!! hahaha....it was great fun working with her in this drama...so much chemistry btw us... the nxt day at church we felt like superstars!! haha...cuz all the kids recognize us as the roles of 'Da S and Xiao S' and cant stop calling out to us...felt a lil embarrassed by all the sudden attention...but i'm sure from now on, when i lead games during children church, it'll be easier on me since everybody knows me now..hahahaha....

and finally today was Children's day celebration. huiming and i partnered again!! haha...it was pre-planned...so we were thrilled with this coincidence to work together again!! hahah....

yeah....these few weeks had been of great fun for me....wonder how this coming week would be like??

meanwhile, i must thnk of wat new surprises to do for yang, martin and hwee..heh.....well one is my darling and 2 best buddies so must really put in lots of effort for them!!...heh...and not forgetting chuan...must make sure he and jus gets to try the ice cream cake(the first surprise for martin and hwee) ting and i learnt to make....

and of course i haven forgetten my SIM buddies!! sighz..i miss them so much too!! must get them to try the ice cream cake too...hahahah...i'm lidat...once i learnt to make something new..i must make sure ALL my dear buddies try it!!!!...cuz they're all simply too dear to me tt i must share all fabulous stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE MY FRIENDS LOTS~~

2007-09-28T11:53:00.000+08:00

Actually i've been thinking abt this the whole night...

i seriously dun understand how certain people can be so so so blinded by love...

and there's this certain person---my couzzie..

ok..i myself had been in love before and i can understand that when u love someone, u'll want to do everything for that person. its to the extend that i cna be at his beck and call and i wun mind one bit....BUT...there is still a limit. i'll know when his favours are too much.

sadly, thats not the case for my cousin. he's just so---argggg-----dumb. i thnk my frustration is so damn visible. As a girl myself...i know exactly what his ex-girlfriend is thinking. that bitch is just making use of him!!---rather, his money, his car and himself(to do favours for her). when u know yer guy cant get over u, and will do whatever it takes to win u back, u'll take the opportunity to get him to do stuffs for u like a pathetic puppy would for the owner.

ok. i'm being mean to describe it this way. not like i treated anyone like this before. i would never. i'm not a bitch. ok lets not digress. to me, my cousin is behaving so pathetically like as though she's the only woman left on earth. yes....they've had an 8-yr r/s. it'll be difficult to get over her esp when she's the one that DUMPED him.

and precisely cuz she dumped him, i find it highly suspicious that she continues to ask him to drive her here and there, go shopping with her(and he pays for everything!) and the whole family bought insurance from her!! and from what i know from my aunt, they're not sure if my couzzie and her are considered a couple again cuz there's times when she ignores him and there's times when she talks to him..

ARGGGGG....be my judge....isnt it so FUCKing obvious that she doesnt love him?? she just wants him to be a favor-slave!! its difficult...but i thnk my couzzie should display more masculity and backbone and learn forget abt her and move on with life. OR if he doesn't wanna forget her, then at least confront her and get her to make clear what their r/s status is!!!!

and if she says that she treats him only as a friend, then its fine he drives her ard....and if they go shopping, he should make her pay for her own stuff......... even i dun make my BOYFRIEND pays for my stuff ALL THE TIME...cuz he does tt for her ALL THE TIME...even her driving lessons are paid for by my couzzie!! so if BOYFRIENDS are NOT OBLIGED to pay everything for his girlfriend, he as a normal fren shld all the more NOT do it.

his just too blinded. when i saw him yst night, i really felt like giving him 2 tight slap to wake him up from his wistful dream. i'm so mad with him. why cant he have more pride than to give in to her?? if she can have the heart to break up with him with an sms, after an 8-yr long r/s, and then ignored him for days, and didnt return him the diamond jewelleries he bought her over the 8 yrs, and then suddenly looking for him again to get him to buy insurance from her.......what makes him thnk she truely love him and wun kick him away when she finally found someone richer than him??

he's dumb. so pathetically dumb.....and sighz...pitiful.

i hope he'll wake up in time before more cost and hurts are incurred.

2007-09-28T10:55:00.000+08:00

hahahaha...i was checking my mail and i came across this....the person who taught of it is brillant with words manz....

Play with words

DORMITORY:When you arrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRESBYTERIAN:When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ASTRONOMER:When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DESPERATION:When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE EYES:When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE BUSH:When you rearrange the letters:HE BUGS GORE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters:HERE COME DOTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SLOT MACHINES:When you rearrange the letters:CASH LOST IN ME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ANIMOSITY:When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ELECTION RESULTS:When you rearrange the letters:LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MOTHER-IN-LAW:When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SNOOZE ALARMS:When you rearrange the letters:ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A DECIMAL POINT:When you rearrange the letters:IM A DOT IN PLACE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE EARTHQUAKES:When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:ELEVEN PLUS TWO:When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2007-09-27T16:05:00.000+08:00

aw...great...

its 1am and i still cant fall asleep...i hate it when i switched the com on..i'll just keep using and it'll just keep me more and more awake...

just finished playing(god knows how many rounds)of online canasta...and i lost many rounds but won it all back....having used so much brain juice at strategizing, i'm still not tired!!

Arggggg....

ok...maybe not tt much brain power was used...but still....

and i woke up so early this morning!! why arent i the least bit tired??

i intend to go gym tml early afternoon since i missed it tonight..haiz....

its so irritating...

just yst, i wrote in my blog abt having to sleep 7hrs? but i dun thnk i can do it...

nowadays i will only fall asleep @ abt 2am and later? and if i were to work in JGC, i'll have to wake up at 7am...

sighz....but each night i lie on my bed...so many thots are running through my mind!!

these issues are giving me a headache. but i'm glad i could talk to Liyi abt it today.

now my issue is...i cant sleep...

but at least i know the depressing feeling that once threatened is now gone...

maybe cuz my most major concern is solved....

but....

there's always this one major major issue i cant get pass...

wonder when will i ever get this prayer answered? but is it really meant to be answered in the first place? i really dont know.....sighz....

its my will tt i want it to be tt way.....but it seem like it might not be God's will...maybe i should be obedient abt it....

but.....

sighz...i'm just so stubborn...

2007-09-27T13:11:00.000+08:00

ooh...and i forgot to add....

never in my whole life i ALMOST talked NON-STOP the whole day..

hahahahahah...thank God Liyi didnt mind *WINKZ*

i love having u around ger...really hope u get yer job and pay and we go Mambo night again!!

hahahaha....

oops...thnk yang's gonna be so jealous with u for spending so much time with me..hahahahah...

2007-09-27T13:04:00.000+08:00

today was rather fun..

spent a whole day out with liyi..haha...even waiting for her to finish her interview..

my couzzie's so sweet to call her up to check tt the interview went well...

i love my couzzie...and her little gerald!!

haha...

anyways my own interview @ JGC went really well..

guess wat?? Fiona Walker(JGC's CEO) was in my tryout PlayNest class last tue!! no wonder i found her looking so familiar to me!!

oh man...but good thing my performance was GOOD kay?? haha...

but yeah...my contract and pay is being worked out...

wonder wen can i officially start work??

i love the JGC shirt!! cant wait to wear it!! cant wait to see the lil kids!!!

ooh...and i cant wait to try out Hilton gym!!! i'm so gonna slim down!!!! hahaha...

and YAY to my soon-to-be-true income!! kept toking abt my first(not really la) paycheck but wondering when is it really coming in...now i know for sure it is! haha...

and i got my black dress....not from zara though....smth similar from 77th street...but still love it all the same *SMILEZ*

lastly....my vow.... by the end of october i'm so gonna lose another 3kg!

see the new and fit me!!!!

Bone Thugs N Harmony - I Tried ft Akon

2007-09-27T12:28:00.001+08:00

2007-09-26T08:40:00.000+08:00

ah guess wat... i happened to see this piece of article on Yahoo! News..

apparently, there had been a 19 year research done on mortality rates to sleeping hours of people.. and it is noted that people who sleeps less than 5hrs a night would have a 1.7 increase in risk of dying. and it is adviced that we should all have a consistent 7hrs of sleep every night. at the same time, it is oso noted that people who sleeps more than 9hrs a night oso die faster..HA!

sighz...looks like whatever things we do or eat...it'll make us die sooner..haha...life is such an irony..u cant sleep too little or too much....although it is still not confirmed tt sleeping too much would oso alleviate the risk of death...but wat the heck??

evrybody will die someday..its just a matter of how soon is it...and its already pre-determined by God. but it still doesnt mean we could live our life carelessly. i still rmb one pastor tt spoke abt this during service,

"although it is pre-determined my God when we will be called home to our heavenly Father, but if we do not take care of ourselves as normal people should, we would still die before we are supposed to. say for example, if we thnk, 'oh God will protect my child from harm' and even if your child were to run out into the busy road, cars would miraculously miss him? NO. he'll be knocked down..and even die."

when i heard wat the pastor said, i feel that it is really so true. indeed, as in Pastor Jenni's case, if our work on earth is done, we will be called home eventually. but it is provided we take proper responsibility of ourselves for which God had given to us, instead of taking for granted that He will protect us from every harm.

true. many times i had been able to avoid near-misses of serious and not-so-serious accidents alike. and i could sense that it was by His grace that i was protected, but i would still constantly remind myself not to deliberately do anth to endanger my own life.

what's most important is, we should live a life of purpose---God's purpose. Anything that doesn't align with God's will is meaningless. i may be able to say this. but i oso know i'm still far from aligning my will with God's. but i'm definitely working to becoming a more obedient christian. meanwhile, i'm just so thankful that despite being a rather wilful child of God, His tremendous grace shone through in my times of trouble.

it is just so reassuring to know that i have a merciful God who loves me regardless of who i am or how bad i can be.

2007-09-26T03:00:00.000+08:00

hahah...yes...i love my pic in the smart 4...hahahha...well...if i cant fulfil my dream as a combat medic, den i can just wear yang's uniform and take photos only....hahah....and his hse is finally done renovating...its so nice...i love the way they changed their bathroom tiles...hahaha....and best of all, i get to help yang thnk of how we can design his bedroom!! haha....i'm gonna make it such tt its wat i want my dream room to be..hahahahha....apart from the fact tt i can't paint it maroon....hahahha....but bleag..he'll probably not take my ideas....oh well....

and that pic of him cutting his super belated birthday celebration with me....we nearly couldnt get the cake as the counter's closed and we had to give the exact amount if we wanna buy it.... and since its $13.90...we tried to dig out all the spare change we have...and praise the Lord!! haha....we had exactly $13.90...haha...not tt we're stingy dun wanna give $14 or smth...but yeah...we're just teeny weeny stingy to wanna save on tt 10cents..hahahhaha....

2007-09-26T02:23:00.000+08:00

ooh...i'm super thrilled!!

first....JGC finally called me back to meet up with their CEO..i'm not sure if thats a good or bad thing..all i know is i'd most probably get a job there!! yeah...i really love working with lots of children ard.... although this job is smth totally different from my course of studies, but it doesn't really matters.... i just wanna get all kinds of different working exerience.... we never know what could come in handy from all the different lessons learnt....

which reminded me of the 'Today's Advice' board i had hung up on my bedroom wall....closed my eyes and randomly pointed and i pointed at the advice "when you lose, don't lose the lesson"...wat an apt advice for me indeed...i can be quite a sore loser at times....but of course, i'm always trying my best to improve this portion of my character...bleag....

and then...yang's soon-to-be sister-in-law told me tt 2 yrs down the road, NTU might be accepting SIM's diploma....so this means i might get a chance at NTU and i dont necessarily need to only apply to UniSIM or SIM's other unis....this would mean a much lower expenditure on school fees!!

and!! i'm able to put what i learnt from my DMS course, to good use!! hahaha..let me do a little bit of advertising here.....

many of u knew tt my mum has a clothes store located in Bedok...however, the target market there is mostly for the older people....but wen i checked out my mum's suppliers...they actually carry alot of designs thats meant for the younger generation....clothes which u can find in Orchard, they have it there.... and i must say, the cost price is alot cheaper than what they sell in orchard....so....my point is, to help my mum bring in more revenue and to fully utilize more of the designs which she cant buy and sell in her shop, i'm bringing it ONLINE!! yes!! online....

this gives everybody ready access to the designs of clothes and accessories we have. its actually a collaboration with some friends...since i'm not too good with all the IT stuff...i'm providing the supplies while they deal with the orders and stuff....

so check out this site: http://www.jace-mall.blogspot.com/

i'll oso be bringing in stuff tt my da jie buys back from shanghai and the other places she visits....so there'll so be bags, belts, accessories and many more..hahaha...so just pay the site a visit for some cheap online shopping pleasure!!

2007-09-20T01:40:00.000+08:00

hmms...been rather busy recently...

but it was a fun period...

having a car to drive ard for a whole week, darling's 2 weeks break, hanging out with martin and hwee before their enlistment day arrived, clearing my final sem results, went for martin's and Hwee's enlistment...and the most fun of all, yst tryout at JGC!!

that was a fun 4hrs spent!! i was asked to assist in 2 classes; PlayNest and PlayClub...as the name suggest...the PlayNest class had abt 10 babies. and we had music and (some)movement, storytelling and free play(where i get to go ard playing with them!!).. the class lasted 1.5hrs.. den it was preparation time for the next Nest class...

having finished helping out with the preparation, i rushed over to studio 1 for the PlayClub class...the toddlers were equally as cute and adorable....and it was even more enjoyable in a class with them as most of them could understand what i was saying.... similarly, the music and movement, storytelling and freeplay was super!! while in Nest, their tabletop activity i didnt get to help out much, PlayClub was alot better as i get to guide them in making their eggroll painting....

a child's creativity should never be limited to a certain boundary....their display of their creativity was immensely revealed especially through their artwork or basically any handicraft activity that they do.....and this creativity is boundless....if i were to be a parent nxt time, i would give my child free reign in doodling....i'm positive this will help her develop her skills in the most natural of ways....

if only i could take photos of some of the elephant puppets the children made yst....since their sense of arrangement is still not properly developed, their distorted elephants actually had very hilarious effects...i just cant help smiling as i watch them do their tabletop activities =)

2007-09-17T14:20:00.000+08:00

just some pics for the previous post =)

2007-09-12T05:44:00.000+08:00

As u can see dear peeps..i can start reverting back to my old friendster blog ''i'm a lazy blogger''.. haha..cuz i believe all of us can see that despite me having a LOooooong holiday now, i had not been touching my blog at all...not even a draft..tsk tsk tsk...

so today's entry is just a quickie recap of those days after my last post..lets see... for 2 consecutive wednesdays, i went for Mambo night with constant clubbing partners like Liyi, chuiting and Martin...while the rest who were with us were some of our individual old friends. but having different groups of friends hanging out together proved to be really enjoyable...thanks to the close age group..

we met these 2 guys..they look like they're from America..i'm not too sure...but they are definitely a friendly bunch that u wun mind hanging ard and dancing mambo dances with..haha...we took pictures...but they forgot to get our contact to send to us.....sighz....

and then i had been alternating swimming and gym....and liyi told me i had actually slimmed down quite abit..kekeke....imagine how happy i was to hear that!! hahaha...

and then there's my dad's birthday celebration at yuki yaki...our whole family(with the exception of my da jie who's in shanghai) had a great time of eating, bonding and camwhoring...hahaha..but i'm just too lazy to upload the pics though...

and then there was yst...my dad decided to rent a car!! yes...so we were travelling all ard s'pore, as though the petrol's toally free.. and free parking everywhere..hahaa..i thnk my dad might go into shock if we were to really calculate out the amount we spent wen we had this car...hhahaha..

but sighz...as usual, i get nagged for driving too fast wen i drove us down to jalan kayu for supper and then lower seletar to chill...but i kept having ppl overtake me wen i was driving down to lower seletar...cuz i was going at just 70km/h....and my mum still felt i was going too fast...

but seriously..i do thnk my driving is rather seasoned...i had not much problems at changing lanes or whatsoever....even parking had few hiccups....i'm rather proud of myself....when the time comes for my p-plate to be down..i sure am confident!!

haha..sorry for bragging..i just cant help having this sense of achievement! LOLX :D

aight...my hands are tired from typing...tata~

Ooh....and my darling's POP had finally arrived!! cant wait to drive him ard and show off my skill to him..hahahahha!

2007-09-01T06:04:00.000+08:00

though not many pictures were taken..but there sure was lots of drinking and dancing...

what a great way to celebrate the end of my dip!! haha... Mambo Night ROX!!

2007-08-30T03:45:00.000+08:00

alright..back to some proper blogging....
the previous post was cuz i am feeling definitely lazy to try to recall all the past events and blog it all out..anyway, pictures speaks a thousand words isnt it? plus i do have word explanations to go with it..... haha... whatever...

Anyways...finally i have the time to come back to update my blog....been super busy with all the last min revisions...but i at least i dun have to be worried much abt supp paper....maybe for today's Business Law paper...but i'm trying to be more optimistic...

the past few days i actually had some inspiration on certain topics i felt quite strongly about...but cuz i didn't draft anything down...with the inspiration gone, i shall not talk abt it just yet..

i AM gonna have my alcohol crave and craze satisfied at Mambo night tonight...and Liyi's going with me!! haha....feeling so thrilled and excited.......................

2007-08-30T03:14:00.000+08:00

at Sky Garden (Vivocity) with darling.... when we

took this photo, we were actually quite high up at one of the holes on display..haha....good thing i was wearing pants...so

we could do some climbing just for the fun of it..haha...but the picture turned out looking really

ordinary....then we tried taking a photo of our ''floating'' legs...but from our angle, it just looked like we were atnading..haha....

but then again...we see no need to prove anth...as long as we know where we took it....thats all that matters!! Haha..

my sis and i came up with a brillant and ''hot'' idea

of how we can satisfy our BBQed marshmallow

craving..Hahahahahhaha....

here's Mr Hunter Loo....feeling shy about me taking his photo..hahaha...adorable as he may be, but he's one fellow

that soughts yer attention relentlessly!! phew...had quite a difficult time getting him away from

me......but i do love him manz.....ADORABLE!!

just some memories of my revision time with

cath.....can't believe everything's finally over!! YAY!!

Cath..thanks so much for the sweet lil' prezzie u got me.. heez..still thinking of where i can put it up..HaHa

Good bye IMEC..Good Bye Macro...Good bye

B.Law.....hahahahahha

2007-08-28T09:18:00.000+08:00

In macro, we learn that C+I+G+X-M= AE >>> market equilibrium

During this final sem exam i learn that C+I+G+X-M= ME >>> Moody equilibrium
(Refer to the full explanation below)

i'm definitely the last person u want to be ard with wen i'm in a Crappy+Irritatable+Grumpy+eXasperated-Mediative mood.

arg. macro is driving me crazy.

but still. thanks to those who had helped me and tolerated me these days. i dun need to be an economist to calculate how much resentment my sisters had developed for me recently. haha. it'll blow over.

i just need an alcohol rush.

and i'll have just that on wed night. the last paper of this course.

ZOUK..i'll be there.....

chamillionaire - ridin' dirty

2007-08-27T15:59:00.001+08:00

oh my gosh...i'm loving you tube more and more....haha...the website i'm trying to get the songs that i wanted, seemed to be having some technical problems...cant download from there...but you tube's better...now i can find all my fave mtvs and songs and straway post it into my blog.. here is the lastest find for me..

~Ta Da

Final Fantasy X - elliot yamin - I'll wait for you

2007-08-26T22:36:00.001+08:00

2007-08-23T15:25:00.000+08:00

today is looking somewhat better.

because i managed to get yet another chapter revised for the upcoming exam?
or because i just had a really great time chatting with a good friend?
or is it because i was able to help lessen the load off my friend's mind by lending her a listening ear?

whatever it is...today had been better than yesterday.

.....having just ended a phone conversation with a good friend, i was about to turn in for the night. just about to close the window of my blog. but decided to visit a few blogs before i call it a day. bad choice. not that bad actually. just that i had just successfully pushed away the sleepiness that had initially emerged. amazing. given the fact that i was experiencing sleepless nights recently. but having read their blogs, thoughts are racing through my mind.

so much things had happened these past days. but it does not concerned me. it was regarding my friend's r/s problems. not only did she shared about her problems..we shared alot about our pasts. happy or sad. all was blurted out. i'm enjoying it though. it gives me the chance to reminisce all those sweet memories. but it also reminded me of all the evil side of mankind.

what struck me the most had been the value of sefishness vs selflessness...

its amazing to discover that despite having experienced tremendous number of selfish friends who had almost destroyed my childhood and secondary school life...i was still able to keep that faith that i'll eventually still meet selfless people.

God really works in the most wonderful ways. in times when we least expects it, He'll reveal answers to prayers that we so yearned to be answered.

am i considered fortunate to have been able to experience the 2 extremes of it? one, during my secondary life, where a person can be totally selfish that nothing else matters more than being able to save her own skin? or the other extreme, so selfless that despite struggling with her own problems, still kept up a brave front just so that she could lend me a listening ear for my seemingly childish problem?

what was it that was actually running through every individuals' mind, at the point when someone was soughing for their help? what was it that let them decide to be selfish or selfless that instant? if given a scenario where there would be no cost involved if they rendered their help, would selfish people still do it? but then again, what defines selfish people. do they really exist?

say for example, A is on a packed MRT cabin. he sees a heavily pregnant lady standing. the thought of giving up his seat came to him instantly. but having had a long day at work, he felt reluctant to give up his seat. so he didn't. selfish? i guess onlookers would probably would have thought it too? since he is in every capacity, able to stand. any tiredness he was experiencing, most probably is nothing compared to that of the pregnant lady. right?

but....if there's a change of scenario. A's hand is actually in a cast. but his legs are perfectly fine. and he's not in the least bit tired. similarly, he still doesn't give up his seat. now...would we consider him selfish? i personally suspect that there could be a 50% chance that some would argue that its not selfish. he's injured. though its the arms, but he's injured.

what am i driving at? i'm just really curious. curious about what made people do the things they did?

take myself for example. many times in the past, i do come across people who needed seats more than i did. but i did not gave it up. my reason? somehow i felt that it was embarrassing to stand up and offer my seat. so silly, u may think. but that was what truly went through my mind, which was why, in the end, i did not give up my seat. not because i didn't want to because i was tired. but simply because i was shy to.

i was about to post the question, "so is this considered selfish?"...then suddenly the answer struck me so obviously. its a big YES! i did not give up my seat just because i was 'timid'(so to speak..ha..) for the sake of my own 'face', i decided to not do something i should have done.

well...i guess, in the midst of writing this entry, i had managed to answer my own question.

it doesnt matter how seemingly valid the reason a person has for not doing what should have been done. but as long as a person is able to come out from his comfort zone and offer the help that was needed, he is considered being selfless--- he had put aside his own interest for the fulfilment of favour for others....and not expecting something in return..

nothing else matters. i just want to continue striving to be selfless. like what Jesus is like. friends may tell me to stop being nice to people who are so obviously manipulating my kindness. but i believed i'm doing it for God. not for anybody else. i want to touch the hearts of people through my acts of kindness and selflessness so that even the hard-hearted ones would come to know, experience and enjoy the eternal love of God.

i'm not trying to be a saint. i really just wanna be a good testimony. beacause i thnk i have failed terribly as a christian all these years. its time i put myself back on the right track.

2007-08-22T14:49:00.000+08:00

My sister had been constantly listening to Corrinne May's latest album, "Beautiful Seed"... it is indeed a very beautiful album...the songs were well written, accompanied with meaningful lyrics..
and the best part? there is a story behind each and every song..
i had more free time today
so i decided to go into her blog to find out more about this beautiful album
the descriptions of the stories behind the songs were amazing..
one of the songs that really touched my heart, "Five Loaves and Two Fishes", had a really inspiring description:

"Five Loaves and Two Fishes"

"This song is based on my favourite bible story. The story is about how Jesus made a miracle happen by taking five loaves and two fishes offered by a little boy, and using that to feed 5000 people. I think it’s an amazing story about how, no matter how small we may think about what we have to offer, we should trust that our offerings, our gifts are never wasted. Our gifts and our talents should be treasured for they can be used in many beautiful ways."

when i read it, it suddenly seemed to me that God is speaking to me.
Approaching the end of my 15month Diploma course, i feel like i'm suddenly once again thrown back into this pit of uncertainty and fearfulness.... i was once again in a confused state of mind about what i wanted to do.... whenever concerned friends asked about my plans for the near future, i would reply: "oh! i want to join SCDF's paramedic course!"...

but deep down, i was actually really worried..i wasnt sure if it could really work out...what if this plan of mine doesn't work out? where do i move on from here? do i go and take up a permanent job to gain my 2 yrs of working experience before entering UniSIM? or do i just enrol into UOL or RMIT like the rest of my classmates? but i'm not sure if my dad will be able to support my degree.

but i really wanna fulfil my dream as a medic. this was wat i wanted right from the beginning. but obviously, if SCDF dun wanna accept me, this would be a dream i can nv fulfil....

but if i were to work..would my dip be recognised? or would i be able to stay in a workplace for long? but what am i gonna work as? a pathetic student care teacher? entering data all day? what? what?

i really dunno what i wanted

i really thought my problems are solved once I'm done with this dip. but i feel like I'm back to square one. how come i dun seem to be feeling any sense of accomplishment? i still had no idea where i should be heading. i want to be like chuisan. keeping up the faith and obedience for God's plans for her.

i dun wanna fall back into depression. i hate the suicidal thoughts that seemed to forced themselves into my head whenever i got worried. the feeling of having no place to move on. the claustrophobia is suffocating me. the sleepless nights i'm beginning to experience is draining my energy away. i'm beginning to put my happy facade back on again. i dun want the vicious cycle to repeat once again. i hate myself for wanting to blog all these down. i dun want to draw unnecessary attention. but i have no other avenue to release these fears that i harbour.

right now, i might have been able to drive my troubles away temporarily through means of running during my gym sessions. but i find that i am beginning to struggle to keep up that energy level.

everything that i do, i'm losing interest. i'm losing motivation. i'm losing zeal.

sundays were a sort of release for me. to be in the temple of God. where for that moment i could convince myself to lay everything down at the cross. each night i prayed. i prayed for an open door. but i still do not see it. i dun want to stop trusting.

everything seem so temporal.

i'm still waiting for that light at the end of my dark tunnel.

i'm still waiting for God's reply. i know it'll come. i'm praying that it be quick.

2007-08-19T18:33:00.000+08:00

yup!!! we all had loads and loads of fun..... yeah....recently i had loads of fun manz....

initially we (darling, martin, chuenhwee, chuan, justina and myself) intended to meet up at esplanade to have dinner....but because they had some firework display thingy on, we could not find any parking lot....so in the end, we headed down to chinatown for dinner...

had a rather sumptous meal...and once again, didn't cross my mind to take some photos of all the food we bought....but one thing i found out.......chuan, chuenhwee, martin and myself all using the samae phone....hahahaha...but i believe martin bought his at the priciest price cuz he got his last year sept...hahahaha....

and anyways, after dinner we decided to head down to a pub at Dempsey rd..but unfortunately...chuan was really tired...so he didn't join us there....and arg....didn't get to take pics with him....he's looking super fit and cool!!! Zulu coy must've been really hiong in their trainings...but he's damn lucky...not a single drop of rain for him during his 6D5N fieldcamp....

and i dun understand why in the world would some of my pics disappear???? martin took some pics of the horrible drinks we had there...and i was supposed to post it to The New Paper to let them know abt it.....but i cna't find the pic anywhere!!....arg...hope he doesn't kill me for it(i know he wun..ha!)...

super tired now....aight...gonna sleep....

2007-08-18T15:47:00.000+08:00

Whee~~~
we're all having so much fun at the cell group meeting + Daniel's farewell party!! though its not like we're really tt happy abt Daniel's trip to US for his studies..but at least we had loads of fun that night.....but i'm sure time would pass really quickly....in the blink of an eye, we'll soon have dan back with us celebrating christmas *BIG SMILE*

that night i was in a crazy mood....everywhere i see friends taking pictures, i'd try to creep into the pictures as well...hahaha....can u believe it? this is one of the senario where both mel and jun an had no idea i was behind them, happily appearing in their photo.....lolz.....i must've been in a really good mood....cuz i'm not one who likes to keep taking photos..hahahaha...

after a short bible discussion, we decided to have a game of 'Twister'..and i swear i'm never gonna play it again...the positions that we got was horribly uncomfortable...and with a camera-person constantly on the look-out for funny and ridiculous poses..........well....spare me....hahahahaha...

this is the book where we compiled our well wishes for dan....its really cool....each page of the scrap book had each cell member's individual photo on it and our personal message written for him...and the best part is, its toatlly DIY from everybody.....i guess its the most personal we can ever get.... but i'm sure he'll love reading it...for my page, i even did up a lil quiz for him.....interactive eh?...

one thing i regretted though....i had so quickly finished up the Tiramisu that Dan made, that i forgot to take a photo of the cake before i gobbled it up(so to speak)....sighz.....why did he had to wait till he's leaving then he had to reveal his superb culinary skills?? his pasta and Tiramisu is simply fabulous......i thnk his Tiramisu was 'sold-out' within 5 min of its 'opening'..heh....

but i do miss him.....hope he'll be back with us real soon...

2007-08-18T05:47:00.000+08:00

after a very very very spicy and filling lunch at Holland V's Thai Express....
thanks to my 2 big bros...for introducing me the 'fire noodles'...
which gave me dirrhoea that night...
bleag...
still...the day had been fun!!!
muacks...i love them all so much..hahahahah....

2007-08-15T08:22:00.000+08:00

yes!! this is the new N6110 Navigator!! Esther's new phone!!!! hahahha...she does need one...hahahah...then i'll be going ard telling people abt her national library incident to explain why this phone is necessary and very useful for her...hahahahahhaha...well actually not tt bad la....i just love poking fun at her sense of direction(or rather, the amazingly lack of it)...my own sense of direction isn't tt good either..just not as bad as hers..hhahahahahaha...

and this is my cute little baby cousin, Gerald!! heez....we love him so so so much!! he's one kid that has laughter in place of all his other emotions.....u can poke fun at him and make him really frustrated..and yet, he'll still laugh it off.... thats why we love him....he makes us all laugh together with him... when this photo was taken, he was at my house.... i showed him my remote control car and he was so thrilled to play with it...but............it turned out that the battery was flat......so he had to wait a whole hour for the battery to be charged before he could play....when he found out he had to wait, he looked so crestfallen and the momentary expression that flashed across his face made it seemed like i cheated his feeling by telling him he could play with it...heh...i felt super guilty.... but when the battery was finally charged, he could play with it happily....so all was well again.....

and looked!! my kitchen is blue in colour...cool right? blast some R&B and it would be like our own club!! hahaha.....my dad just changed the fluorescent tube and it turned out to be blue in colour.....its cool at first. but each time i look into the kitchen, i really felt so nauseous. good thing my dad changed to a more normal one before he went back to Bintan.

my dream car!!! Fairlady!! stupid Vernon...he thinks his 20yr old starlet(with speedometer having a max speed of 180km/) can overtake the Fairlady...

so when he was overtaking it, he made me take a photo of the process....duh.......we did overtake it...but seconds later, we see it in front of us again......can't believe we have an idiot as our groupmate for these 5 semesters....i'm sure Shawn and Fay would agree if they read this

oh Yes!! i'm so excited!! the day after our last paper, we'll be playing paintball at orchid country club! yeah!! heez...i cant wait for the day to come..i can finally get to try out paintball...mm...one of these days must get Catherine to go get the necessary stuff for the game.....but we're still trying to figure out what is it tt we really needed...heh...